Now I Hate PETA Because They’re Making Me Defend SeaWorld

10.26.11

I don’t like SeaWorld. I don’t like PETA. When I think of two companies (PETA really is just a crappy PR firm) that I’d wish off the planet I think of Sea World and PETA. I’ve been to Sea World both as a child and as an adult and I find it incredibly depressing. They’ve taken mammals who migrate hundreds of miles every year and trapped them in tiny swimming pools (ask a marine biologist about the wilted dorsal fins).

shamu at seaworld folded dorsal fin

If I had a magic wand Sea World, and all the aquariums with performing mammals, would be shut down and the creatures would be safely returned to the sea. This is a feat that would require a magic wand.

In their latest PR Stunt PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is suing SeaWorld for keeping five performing killer whales in conditions that violate the 13th Amendment ban on slavery.

PETA is a large collection of stupid people. I’m not saying that to be funny or to glib. I’m not trying to get a reaction from anyone. Plain and simple, people who work for or donate money to PETA are morons.

The Constitution (and it’s amendments) exist to protect people. Whales are not people. If I could write the prior two sentences in smaller words for PETA folks to understand I absolutely would.

Now, let’s pretend for a moment that we were all dropped on our heads and have the same ridiculous thought patterns as the folks over at PETA. Let’s enter a total fantasy land and pretend that PETA successfully sues SeaWorld on behalf of five whales for slavery and there is a Judge who goes for it… maybe he’s had a cerebral hemorrhage and the shunt wiggled something in his brain. Let’s travel into this fantasy land where the US Courts would want to free the slave whales.

Next will PETA sue to free the enslaved horses that work on ranches? Perhaps Junior should sue me because sometimes I don’t take him on enough walks. The gate is closed and clearly he exists only as a love slave for everyone in the house.

Further, there are slaves in this world. There are slaves in America. It’s wildly offensive that anyone would compare mistreated and imprisoned mammals to humans.

I get a little giggly that PETA and SeaWorld are stuck in a cesspool together. If lawyers are going to work overtime and waste a corporation’s money, at least these are corporations that deserve to lose a lot of it.

Photo credit to Boon Lee Fam on Flickr via Creative commons

Pink Taco and it’s Shaved Pink Ass (Safe for Work)

05.10.11

Let me begin this with one simple statement. I have never been to Pink Taco.

Pink Taco is a local restaurant that presumably serves Mexican Food. As the proud owner of a vagina I haven’t darkened their doorstep but my husband sometimes lunches there. He says the food is good. I don’t often mistrust my husband, but I’m thinking the food’s gotta suck.

For Cinco de Mayo the brain trust at Pink Taco decided to take a donkey, spray paint it pink and leash it to the front of it’s restaurant. Presumably this would benefit the drunken revelers. Apparently it was an 80 degree day (in the shade) and the patrons of Pink Taco took offense that an ass was tied up in front of a restaurant that was named after the slang for women’s labia and serves meat that doesn’t pretend to be free range, organic, humanely treated or even grass fed.

Apparently the would be patrons of Pink Taco care more about a spray painted ass than anything else.

In keeping with the Pink Taco-ness of Pink Taco they have decided to honor PETA (a vile organization if ever there was one) with a night of vegan fare and donations to PETA.

 

There has been a lot of media speculation regarding Eeke, the donkey. We encourage you to “Like” our new facebook page:[redacted I’m not in the mood] and follow us on our new Twitter: twitter.com/PinkTacoCC for up-to-date information!

Team Eeke!
In support of the fight against animal cruelty from May 9th – May 15th, Pink Taco Century City will be featuring a special margarita. The “PETA-rita” is available to all guests who would like to come in and support #TeamEeke, as 100% of the proceeds from the PETA-rita will go to PETA in support of the ethical treatment of animals.

We are also encouraging ALL of our guests to join us this Friday, May 13th for our happy hour and a “bring your pet to the patio day” from 3-7pm. This is a great opportunity to come in, enjoy some great food and beverages with your pets – and drink for a great cause! We look forward to seeing you there!

The following is our official statement:

“We’d like to clear up some misperceptions regarding the donkey, who made an appearance at the Cinco de Mayo event at Pink Taco in Century City on May 5th. We obtained a permit from the city to have the animal on site and the pink coloring used on the donkey was a safe, water-based and commonly used on animals in the entertainment industry. Additionally, the donkey’s trainer escorted him the entire appearance, he was on a leash, not a chain as reported in the media, and we provided plenty of water and care to him throughout. The employees of Pink Taco love and respect animals and would never do anything to harm or cause discomfort to an animal.”

We have since been in contact with PETA and Pink Taco has agreed to not use animals at our events and promotions and we are looking forward to meeting with them and discussing how we can work together in the future. We are a socially aware brand and we appreciate our customers concerns regarding these matters.”

-Pink Taco Corporate

 

If there was ever a moment where I thought that Pink Taco cared about people (women specifically) or animals (a few hundred a day on plates) I’d ignore this, as it’s largely a non issue.

I think that motherhood has turned me into a feminist and although I love a dirty double entendre I love it even more when I can walk through the mall without trying to explain to my kids what a Pink Taco is, why men would want to eat one, and why women would have low enough self esteem to work at or patronize the store.

I’d be outraged, but the Yelpers have taken care of that with hundreds of one star reviews.

What’s your take? It’s clearly a business that takes risks. They’ve named the store in such a manner that many women don’t want to be there, most families won’t, they clearly don’t care about animals and then they engage with PETA. Is it just a big mess that’s going for young men or are they hungry for any old kind of publicity?