Now I Hate PETA Because They’re Making Me Defend SeaWorld

10.26.11

I don’t like SeaWorld. I don’t like PETA. When I think of two companies (PETA really is just a crappy PR firm) that I’d wish off the planet I think of Sea World and PETA. I’ve been to Sea World both as a child and as an adult and I find it incredibly depressing. They’ve taken mammals who migrate hundreds of miles every year and trapped them in tiny swimming pools (ask a marine biologist about the wilted dorsal fins).

shamu at seaworld folded dorsal fin

If I had a magic wand Sea World, and all the aquariums with performing mammals, would be shut down and the creatures would be safely returned to the sea. This is a feat that would require a magic wand.

In their latest PR Stunt PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is suing SeaWorld for keeping five performing killer whales in conditions that violate the 13th Amendment ban on slavery.

PETA is a large collection of stupid people. I’m not saying that to be funny or to glib. I’m not trying to get a reaction from anyone. Plain and simple, people who work for or donate money to PETA are morons.

The Constitution (and it’s amendments) exist to protect people. Whales are not people. If I could write the prior two sentences in smaller words for PETA folks to understand I absolutely would.

Now, let’s pretend for a moment that we were all dropped on our heads and have the same ridiculous thought patterns as the folks over at PETA. Let’s enter a total fantasy land and pretend that PETA successfully sues SeaWorld on behalf of five whales for slavery and there is a Judge who goes for it… maybe he’s had a cerebral hemorrhage and the shunt wiggled something in his brain. Let’s travel into this fantasy land where the US Courts would want to free the slave whales.

Next will PETA sue to free the enslaved horses that work on ranches? Perhaps Junior should sue me because sometimes I don’t take him on enough walks. The gate is closed and clearly he exists only as a love slave for everyone in the house.

Further, there are slaves in this world. There are slaves in America. It’s wildly offensive that anyone would compare mistreated and imprisoned mammals to humans.

I get a little giggly that PETA and SeaWorld are stuck in a cesspool together. If lawyers are going to work overtime and waste a corporation’s money, at least these are corporations that deserve to lose a lot of it.

Photo credit to Boon Lee Fam on Flickr via Creative commons

It’s Okay to Want to be the Hot Chick

10.6.11

A post (it’s a meme really) has made it’s way around Facebook. It’s a viral sensation written by a woman of presumably healthy weight.

I understand that many of us aren’t at the weight we would like to be at. I further understand that at least one reader has a child with Prader Willi syndrome and that more than a few of us take steroids like Prednisone. If you’re in that category, bummer.

Here’s the reality, this fat lady on the chair you see below, she does have a pretty face. Beautiful even, what she doesn’t have is a healthy body. To say that she couldn’t have a better life and better health with some of that fat missing from her belly is to lie to everyone.

Right now we are fat. We are globally fat and our children have shorter life expectancies than we do. We are eating ourselves into a Wall E type existence.

If you’re my age (41) go look at your class pictures and find the fat kid. The ONE. There was always one fat kid, and I’m guessing when you see those pictures that fat kid is probably more typical looking today than you’d expect. Now take a look at any classroom in America and look at what we’ve done to our children.

Go look in a third grade classroom. Look at their pale skin and their doughy stomachs. Check for video games and cell phones. We want free range chickens, but gawd forbid our precious little princes should walk to school.

Ladies, I get that it’s hard to maintain a healthy weight. No one loves rich food more than I do. I know it’s hard to walk into the gym to try and become a mermaid. Let’s face it, I’m 41, my ass fell, but that doesn’t mean I get to sit on it all day.

Exercise more, eat a little less, spend more time naked and for the love of all things holy please stop pretending that fat is adorable. It’s killing you.

As much as I’m sure that Delphine Feiberg meant to tell everyone to love themselves, she’s doing you all a disservice. This model has a beautiful face, no doubt, and as wonderful as it is to open a magazine and have someone look like you, it’s deadly to pretend like we can’t do better.

Like Delphine I am not commenting on how anyone looks. This isn’t about fashion or being skinny. I’m not interested in discussions about anorexia. According to The American Anorexia and Bulimia Association 1,000 anorexics die each year. According to the surgeon general in 2003 (we’ve gotten bigger since then) more than 300,000 people died from their obesity.

In a dozen years we’ll look back on these fat affirming messages and wonder what people were thinking. These images are as life affirming as a Virginia Slims ad.

And now the meme:

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