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December 2012

Gun Advocates try to Disseminate the Bill of Rights, Hilarity Ensues

piers morgan ban assault weapons gun debate deport

The second amendment reads:

A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

Apparently Piers Morgan doesn’t like guns. I haven’t seen this show (yet) so I’m not sure what he’s done but in the small interviews I’ve heard on Howard Stern I’m sure that whatever is happening on his show is messy. I happen to be a big supporter of the second amendment (as it is written). I do have a dog in this race and I would not be happy to give up my handgun but I’m also not part of a militia, regulated or otherwise.

Let’s face it, Piers Morgan’s a dick. We don’t deport people for dickishness or general assholery otherwise I’d be living on a small island with a bunch of ill tempered women who were also deported sans weaponry.

So folks who agree with me (on the dickishness issue only) have created a petition to have Piers Morgan deported for “attacking the second amendment”.

Some punchlines just write themselves. We’ve all read the first amendment right?

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

 

Maybe if they aren’t asking Congress to deport him it’s a safe bet?

I’m hoping in 2013 the AP wire won’t resemble The Onion.