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Everyone Knows Caviar Will Settle Your Stomach

Jane came back from camp on Friday with a hideous cough. She didn’t have a fever or a red throat, just a cough. I gave her Delsym and rest. Before bringing her to day camp this morning I decided to bring her to the pediatrician for open office hours.

It’s bronchitis. Jane is on Azithromycin.

She’s at that in between everything age. She’s too big to be a kid, but lordy she’s a child if ever there was a child. She can’t walk without skipping, look without touching or disguise her delight. She can, however, swallow pills, so I asked the doctor if we would be giving her pills or liquid, while deciding the nurse came to weigh her.

96 pounds (with clothes on)! This is exciting for Jane. Do you remember wanting to be 100 pounds?

And just for giggles we measured her. 5’4″! Another WHEE came from Jane.

The nurse and I just shook our heads and smiled. I said, “There’s a reason why they use young girls as models.”

The nurse said, “Why?” I think she’d genuinely not thought about it.

“Well they’re tall and thin. This won’t last, look at her, she doesn’t have hips or shoulders yet. It’ll change.”

The nurse looked genuinely surprised and I didn’t want to deflate Jane too much by explaining to her that not only would she weigh 100 pounds some day soon, but she’ll be losing her shit if she ends up north of 130.

We’re home from camp now and Jane insists that the antibiotic is hurting her stomach. She has requested crackers, and then she thought a little more and requested crackers with caviar, because really, everyone knows that caviar will settle your stomach.