Anti Altruism: I Want Cupcake Credit Damnit
During the 4th of July weekend my dear friend Michelle Lamar’s daughter had an emergency appendectomy. Had Michelle been here in Los Angeles, I would’ve stopped by her home or the hospital to help somehow. Since Michelle lives smack dab in the middle of the country I decided to have cupcakes delivered to the hospital room. No one should miss the 4th of July, and cupcakes have magical healing properties. This is a well known fact, ask anyone.
I did what every social media mom does. I put a query on Twitter. “Does anyone know about cupcake delivery in….” Naturally Chimera Jones chimed in and knew of a great local bakery. I called Baby Cakes and asked for a dozen cupcakes to be delivered, gave them my AMEX and was rather delighted with myself.
Until Michelle didn’t thank me three days later when we spoke on the phone.
On the fourth day I was tentative, “Michelle, did you get a delivery from Us Gottliebs?”
“No” She replied.
“Oh, I sent cupcakes to the hospital.” I’ll check with the bakery.
And then I forgot about it for a while. When the bill came from AMEX I sent a quick email to Baby Cakes, they said they’d delivered to the hospital. We checked with the hospital. They had alerted Michelle to the delivery. A week later.
After much back and forth with Baby Cakes, I was terribly apologetic, explaining that the hospital hadn’t properly delivered the cupcakes and I’ll quote you their generous reply:
Does the intended recipient live here in town? If so, we’d be happy to deliver a dozen cupcakes to her whenever you like, or we can issue a credit to your credit card, whichever you like.
Seeing an incredible opportunity, and always being willing to seize it, I replied back that although Michelle wasn’t their neighbor, Chimera Jones was. Would they please deliver that dozen to Chimera? Yes, I know that it wasn’t the right thing to do… not technically, but they did offer.
Baby Cakes said sure, and immediately delivered a dozen cupcakes to Chimera’s workplace. It was all perfect except one thing.
It was Chimera’s first day of a week long vacation.
Oh, wait, there’s another problem. Chimera’s workplace doesn’t know she uses Twitter, or that she blogs, or anything like that.
Well, they do now.
I did a really nice thing twice (even though I only technically paid once) and I did want to make folks feel good. I didn’t mean to not send cupcakes to Michelle’s little girl, or to put Chimera’s job in peril. It just sort of happened that way.
Mostly though, I want the credit for doing nice things. So seriously, y’all. I sent the fucking cupcakes twice.
You can thank me now.