debate

Recently I got a DM (direct message on twitter) from a fellow blogger asking me what to do about the angry comments on her site. The comments ranged from “you are stupid” to quite vulgar. The most remarkable part of it is that she was reviewing a cell phone. The post wasn’t about politics, sex or religion, it was a tech review, and tech reviews don’t often inspire ire.

I gave the blogger the same advice I give every mom blogger who asks: Treat your blog like your living room. If you wouldn’t be spoken to in that manner in your home, you have every right to remove it from you blog. Understand that I see disagreement as a pleasant intellectual exercise, and I assert that it can be done respectfully, joyously even.

I don’t actually follow my own advice (you’ll find that I am in the habit of ignoring all good advice no matter who it comes from), and you might see a number of revolting comments splattered about the pages here. I am not often bothered by what strangers say. I’ve been blogging a very long time, and more often than not I find that the comment says more about the person who writes it than it does about the person who receives it.

I’m afraid that niche blogging has stripped away our ability to debate. If I’m looking to talk about balancing motherhood and career I’d land at Ad Hoc Mom, if I wanted to talk about breastfeeding I’d find myself at PhD In Parenting, and to get a little bit greener every day I’d be at Eco Child’s Play. The audience at Joy Trip is described as people who are environmentally conscientious with a bend toward type-A athleticism, if you’re going to argue that BASE jumping should be banned, they are not your group.

What do you think would happen if a Quiver Full Family was given a column at the Huffington Post? For those of you unaware the Quiver Full movement comes from this passage in Psalms:

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man;
so are children of the youth.
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them:
they shall not be ashamed,
but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127:3-5 (KJV)

Quiver Full families take that passage quite seriously, often having a dozen, or more, children. Would a liberal “news source” like HuffPo be able to provide an extreme example with a thoughtful audience? Will Fox News ever be taken seriously by anyone but the far right?

Is there any chance that a respectful discussion would ensue, or have we taken our blogs, our news sources and our commentary and placed them into compartments, labeling them niche, in hopes that no one notices that we only want to talk to people just like ourselves?

What is so terrifying about just being a blogger? When did we lose the ability to debate without attack? Why would we only want to get news from people just like us?