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I Believe in Millennials but Millennials Don’t Believe in Me

Everyone hates Millennials. They’re lazy, they’re entitled, they have no work ethic, they never move out of the house… I’ve heard it all and I’ve mostly ignored it. I loved my early 20’s, I switched jobs frequently, I took whimsical last minute vacations and invested heavily in my wardrobe. I repeatedly made terrible decisions and I’m here to tell you that I don’t regret a single one of them. Life is the best university.

I like millennials. I like it when they only want to work places where they feel like they’re contributing to society. I enjoy it when they multitask or turn the project on it’s ear, explaining to me why it should be done a different way. I believe in Millennials so much that I started a blogger network just to get them an extra paycheck. Sadly, millennials don’t believe in me.

I haven’t really written about my new car yet but after jettisoning the Mercedes (can I go ahead and recommend Benz for anyone who wants 8 year old technology that sometimes is helpful?) I went and got myself the frumpiest car known to mankind and I love it. The Ford C-Max Energi. It’s a hybrid plug in, it’s slow, it’s not cute, it’s comfortable, it gets 80 MPG, it’s roomy and it’s all mine.

Well, it was all mine for about 900 miles and then the lady in front of me stopped and I didn’t… so it looked like this.

cmax crash

The puddle there on the left of the screen? That’s anti freeze. I am the reason we can’t have nice things.

My car was towed to the shop, the lady I hit continued on with her day & likely is getting her car fixed now and my insurance will probably get more expensive. I’m in a rental car this week, the one the insurance company provided. As I’m picking my son up from school I stopped at an intersection and was rear ended. It’s not a bad accident. There’s the distinct possibility that there will be no charges at all when I return the car to the shop but you never know so I pulled over and the driver who hit me did the same. Except that she never got off her phone.

She had her phone to her ear the entire time we interacted. I think she was on hold with someone. She just sat in her car and didn’t want to get out so I beckoned her with my pointer finger, much as one would deal with a petulant child. I smiled. I was nice but I was also not going to be late for my son because girlfriend needed to finish her phone call after rear ending me.

It is worth noting that I was driving a base model mustang with out of state plates and wearing workout clothes. With that I will detail for you my entire conversation.

ME: [snapping photos of the car] I need to get some information from you. Don’t worry, I’m not going to pretend I’m hurt or anything.


HER: This is no big deal they can just rub that out.


ME: Well, it’s a loaner car and I don’t know what they’ll be charging you for that.


HER: [Blank angry stare] No one’s going to notice.


ME: Well, you hit my car and I’m going to need your driver’s license.


HER: I only have a temporary one. [Pulls a piece of paper out of her purse and unfolds a temporary ID]


ME: [Taking photos of the temporary license] Okay, how about your registration?


HER: [Shrugs] I don’t know where it is.


ME: That’s okay, I’m in a hurry and I have a picture of your license plate. What about your insurance card?


HER: I don’t currently have insurance.


ME: You can’t drive without insurance in California. You know that!


HER: Tell it to a poor person. I hope you don’t talk to all poor people that way.


ME: I talk to all people that way. I don’t care if you’re poor.


HER: [Staring me down] Have you ever been poor?


ME: You have no fucking clue.


HER: I hope so. I hope you’re not in the habit of talking to poor people about things you know nothing about.


ME: You just hit my car and you’re standing on the side of the road lecturing me about how I talk to people?

And then she got in the last word, something about me being more considerate but all I could hear was my own pulse in my ears. Birth year 1991. Entitled millennial. She’ll always be poor because she’s determined to never learn.