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Last night I dreamed that my family showed up at my house at 1pm looking for Thanksgiving Dinner.

I ran to the store, bought crummy (non organic mass farmed) turkeys, jammed butter under their skins and made yams from cans. I tried to wash my hands but I was out of soap. In my dream, my family thought the meal was good. This series of events is an impossibility in more ways than you’d ever imagine.

I woke up sweating and upset.