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Apparently I Am A Feminist: Girls Have A Little Respect

I’m in my hotel room and my friends are at the rooftop bar drinking with the guys. Why am I not there? It is too depressing for words. When I walked in the bartender had her tank top down to there and I could practically see her areola. Rather than standing around, pretending like I care about the chatter and being distracted by a young woman’s lack of self respect, I am resting. I am tired.

Let me get a few things very clear. I love being a woman, I love that I’m a sexual being, and I know the power of a great rack. I also know that when the shirt gets a little too low, it reeks of desperation. Once you toss the shirt off, it’s time to start charging like my Twitter Friend Alexa who is a sex worker. What can I say? I like clean lines.

There are women from various lines of work at the bar networking right now. One of my old neighbors is up there and we’d like to visit. I’ll have to see her another time. I feel really badly for her, she’s a 20 something lady, trying to make it in a man’s business, and she’s in a bar trying to drum up business while a tit and ass parade is being featured by a hotel staff with neither taste nor tact.

It’s the unfriendliest place I’ve seen in years. 

There is a place for it though. The problem is that everything has a place. When a business decides that they are going to have women look seductive they may lose a certain segment (not me). When a business decides that they are going to have women looking as if they are ready to drop to their knees and blow a guy for $7.49 then they lose 51% of the population. Sadly some women still have to show up, they have to be a part of the network, it’s a dance as old as time.

I don’t have to be there. So I left.

I think that I’m more sensitive to it since I’ve noticed the tech community fold in upon itself. Recently a man who goes by the name Hoss69 (no I’m not making that up – there is someone that poorly branded) spoke at a conference and was left unmoderated to insult his entire audience starting with the women.

Why do I say starting with the women?

Men, if you think that a shot of a shaved vagina along with a message that virtually says “buy me” doesn’t assume you are a walking, breathing idiot, think again. By teaming together in a lewd attempt to demean our sisters, mothers, daughters and friends, a group of less than brilliant men has tagged you stupid, horny, gullible and mean.

It’s okay with me if you want to buy sex. 

Be clear about what it is you are buying and selling. If you are going to sell software with a shaved vagina here’s what you need to know. I will not buy it. If you are going to have a conference with speakers like these, ever again I will not buy your conference tickets.

I would urge people to put the conferences behind them, as I think everyone has learned their lessons, however there has been no apology from the speaker nor will there ever be.

Here’s the deal. If you are a conference and you are going to subject attendees to soft core porn I will personally hunt down Gloria Allred and shake that fucking Chanel suit off of her and remind her of the mission. Women went there to work, not to be humiliated. 

Men, I’m calling on you too. My expectation is that there will not be a vagina in your powerpoint unless you are an OBGYN or you are speaking at a pornography conference. My expectation is that if a woman is targeted in the audience and told that she has “drawn a cock” that the entire room will stand up and say, “no”. My expectation is that when Hoss is invited to speak at another conference, and surely he will be, that sponsors will walk away and that attendees will stay home. My expectation is that your corporate event will have everyone feeling respected. Always.

My expectation is that we all act like a bunch of girls.
Because girls are spectacular.

* Hat tips to The Queen of Spain and Sarah Evans for shining a light on the topic

** My husband gave me permission to write about this topic.