sex

Yesterday I was poking around StumbleUpon and someone had sent me a link to a post titled “Marriage: In Which I Shut My Husband Down Once Again”. It’s a quick post, go ahead and read it. If you don’t feel like reading the post the essence of it is that the blogger’s husband had been the road for a few weeks, and texted her with a little sexy talk. “What are you wearing” was the question and she texted back a picture of her watch.

Apparently this is humor. I missed that but all of her readers did not. What I saw (and I did not read the comments until much later) was a husband who was lonely and horny in a hotel room in a strange city and a wife who was mocking him.

Apparently I was wrong and this banter between husband and wife is seen as adorable. I get it. I really do, not every marriage is the same. My friend Amy says I’m judgy, and to that I say, “Hell yes I am”.

There are things that I would never do. I would never sit at a dinner table and talk about Mr G’s shortcomings. As far as I’m concerned his only shortcoming is having married me. Not only would Mr G not appreciate it, but it’s uncomfortable for people to be around a couple who is working things out. Yes, I am Miss Fucking Manners, deal with it.

From a very pragmatic point of view I think that women do themselves a great disservice by talking about how tired they are from their very long days. I know what it’s like to drop into bed and feel the mattress envelop you almost like you’re floating. I know what it is to feel tired in your bones.

Ladies, turn the TV on for the kids, take a nap during the day and for the love of all things holy save some energy to fuck your husband in the evening. It’s part of marriage, and it’s part of marriage worth saving a little energy for.

Now Scout and her husband have some banter in the comments of her blog. I’m sure they’re very happily married, and I’m sure she’s a lovely lady. But I’m a giver, so I’ll share a little advice with everyone today.