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Shea Allen

Free Advice for Fired Millennials

This morning The Awl allowed Brendan O’Connor to publish his side of the story as to why he was fired from The Milk Truck in New York City. It’s rather extraordinary in that O’Connor has a complete lack of self awareness combined with a general misunderstanding as to his past role in food service.

Part of me wants to introduce Brendan O’Connor to Shea Allen. She worked at some small market TV station, wrote a blog post about committing felonies and then went to the media to talk about how she’d been fired for blogging about going on TV without wearing a bra.

Shea Allen steals mail

Shea Allen and Brendan O’Connor are similarly unqualified for the jobs they were hired to do. Brendan O’Connor for his surly tweet and Shea Allen for confessing to a felony that puts her station at risk.

Shea Allen is possibly the only journalist on the planet to not notice that after 168 years in existence News of the World folded because telephones were hacked. Did she think that her bosses would find her (maybe) stealing mail to be adorable?

I’ve been fired from jobs. I was actually fired from my own father’s office when I was 17 and went for two hour lunches. I was also fired from the Mann Theaters when I was 15 and my cash drawer came up short. I wasn’t stealing, I was just not good at giving change. These lessons sort of piled up and by the time I was in my early 20’s I was a much better employee making a solid living.

I’m seeing alarming trends with Millennials and I’m going to give y’all some free advice.

  • Your first job will probably be a crappy job. Don’t wait until you’re 20-something to have that first job. Working is good for you, even when it’s not fun. 
  • No one owes you a job, you’re replaceable so it’s up to you to be better than everyone else (this advice holds true until you’re 75 or so)
  • When you are fired do not blog about it. The chances are good that someone agrees with your boss.
  • If you work in a service industry tips should feel like silver and gold raindrops. No one is obligated to give them to you. Customers can sniff out entitlement.
  • Be great, after you’re great people will know your name. It’s better to be great than to be famous.