Things I Should Not Tell New/Expecting Parents

Things I should let parents discover on their own:

  • You love each child differently, but you don’t love one more than the other
  • Babies are resilient, and sometimes we drop them
  • Heads bleed a lot, if there is water involved it is even more dramatic
  • The sun will rise and set on you, until third grade, then they will realize you are not cool
  • Diapers leak, and not just urine escapes
  • Childbirth hurts, no amount of blowing hee into the air will take the pain away
  • Your breasts will never be the same again, this is not a good thing
  • It only gets more expensive

Every other part of it is really quite wonderful, but good grief I should have my jaw wired shut when talking to new parents.

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  1. Good list and one more reminder that being a dad is really cool.

  2. Couldn’t agree more. And would only add that you can kiss any sense of modesty goodbye.

  3. Katie

    Every last word is the truth! And ditto Zoey-you’ve never showered until you’ve showered with a toddler holding the curtain open the whole time to watch you.

  4. Renee

    @katie- we gave up the modesty right away and swapped out the shower curtain for a clear one when our baby was born. Made showering with a tiny infant easier for all of us, and will at least (hopefully?) save us from the problem you described (which must let all the steam out and make for a cold shower -yuck!).

  5. How about, “It will be a long time before you can again visit the bathroom alone, so enjoy the overactive pregnancy bladder.”

  6. I couldn’t agree more, especially about childbirth. It’s really best if pregnant women NOT ask me what I really think about it! ;) I just prefer honesty over sugar coating. Seem so fake!

  7. @Renee, we do the clear shower curtain too, and it works great. I don’t care if my three-year-old and 11-month-old watch me take a shower, but I’d rather if the little one didn’t SCREAM at me while I do it.

    I kind of wish someone had told me not to believe everything the pediatrician/AAP told me. But, probably, it’s not something I would dare to say to someone else.

  8. should i jump in with the list from parents of teens and college age. oh my. i think i will only give you one really good one.

    NEVER, under any circumstances, say the words, “my child will never _____ (fill in the blank”

    because at some point, in some form, they most probably will. and believe it or not you will survive it.

    btw, the bleeding advice was a good one.

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