Bah Humbug and I’m Really Fucking Sorry It’s a Bad Year

I see that our most recent Momversation video isn’t exactly well received.

Apparently to be successful in the blogosphere one needs to be poor, crippled, in mourning or preaching charity at every turn.

When I go to my email inboxes I have dozens of emails from various charities asking for support. Mostly I get these end of year emails because I’ve given during the year. There are dozens more emails for last minute gifts, and ways to alleviate holiday stress. I have no holiday stress, Chanukkah is over.

The worst emails are marketing all wrapped up for the holidays in gauzy charities. No, I don’t want to buy razor blades that will support Nigerian Refugees. The fine print caps the donation at $50,000, so it’s pretty clear that my purchase won’t contribute a damn thing.

No, wait, the worst emails are the pay it forward, we aren’t a 501c yet, but we will be soon. Those are the worst. I do not want to buy XMas gifts for strangers on the internet. I don’t want to help an entire website devoted to cyberbegging. I will not send strangers money. Not today, and not any time of year.

I’m not even sorry that I’m not poor, sick, widowed, divorced, psychologically imbalanced, or involved in a nonprofit.

I am unapologetically going to enjoy my husband, my children, my brother, my parents, my cat and my dog, all of whom are healthy, happy and employed (animals excluded).

I am not going to be bullied into shilling your stupid shit because of a holiday I don’t celebrate. I’m not going to be updating my facebook status to say things like Rosemary needs an Amazon gift card so that she can buy her baby a cute devil costume for the holidays.

I gave. I gave my money and my time all year long. I gave my heart and soul to an essay for a book. I abused 17,000 strangers on Twitter to win a Pepsi Grant for the homeless. I don’t even LIKE Pepsi. I have written checks to charities y’all have never heard of, and I’ve only been thanked for some of them.

And that is okay.

So I’m really fucking sorry that I’m not in dire straits. I get that misery loves company. If you’re looking to commiserate, I can’t help you, but I’m pretty sure a few hundred thousand blogs can.

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Comments 11

  1. I think you are right, the time to give is all year round.People should do what they can, not just at Christmas time.I always give when I can, if I can.Sometimes its more, sometimes its less, and sometimes it not at all.
    I don’t like the whole cyber begging thing but I do respect what Thebloggess did.She didn’t so much beg for anything but she took what she could of her own and gave it away.The only difference from what she did and what you or I might do is that I’ve never given money away on my blog.Im usually writing a check to an organization to dispense as they’d like. I commend her for doing what she did and having the ability to do it. But no I don’t appreciate being panhandled when trying to visit blogs.It causes me to take a mental note..not to return.Happy Holidays!

  2. I’m confused. Maybe I’m not looking the right places, but I don’t see where the backlash on that momversation video is (I looked in comments the comments following it). I don’t understand where the anger is coming from. Granted, I don’t receive a lot of emails asking for charity and I don’t have a problem with bloggers putting out a call for donations to a good cause. I don’t feel pressured by emails or blog posts. I didn’t like the feel of this post….maybe I’m missing something.

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  3. I only just got a chance to comment on the momversation video b/c my husband just got home & I’ve been “dashing through the snow” to get everything that needs to be finished up all taken care of before we dash away down south!

    I’m back to sharing my car (which I hate) with my husband (whom I love), but it means that he’s walked in the door and I’m standing there, ready to brave the chill so I can go get things done that I couldn’t do earlier in the day. Yes…he went back to work about 18 hours after he got home from Afghanistan. But if he is working now, it means he won’t have to report on Monday. B/c by Monday we’re hoping to have been in Florida for 3 days already!

    Ugh…the washing machine is letting me know the cycles are complete…the load may not be removed. Although…under all the stress & annoyance…I am glad I got to fall asleep next to my husband last night. :) I Bah Humbug a lot…and I don’t even pay attention to charities…I give when I give, when I can…when I want to. :)

  4. ha you think that when you donate to a charity you deserve a thank you? charities are about helping people in need not nursing your inflated ego lady. its your life live it as you please but please save all the boasting and pity for real royalty not some online hack (no pets included) you would think that around the holidays you would write about something that brought you euphoria but all you have written about is how your brain fails to produce the chemicals that permit you to smell your own bowel movements, i got news for you doll when you dump trust me it stinks but no need to respond to that you are most likely one of those women who “does not poop” its whatever i am not an avid devoted worshiper of your blog just killing time live your life be happy stop bickering about nonsense. at least crack open a bottle of chardonnay and write about how you have a drinking problem and how you need help and it would be more heart felt and far more entertaining then the yiddish you have presented me with. but what do i know my poop stinks so cheers merry christmas happy hanukkah or whatever, cheers

  5. Years ago, I made a decision about charities. I get asked to give to charities online a lot, but even more so as I walk down the street. Boston is full of people who stop you on the street and ask you to give for a good cause. What I realized is more times then not, I was giving out of guilt, and a desire to get the person to go away.

    I decided it was more mature and charitable to look at my finances at the beginning of the year, and make then decide how much is reasonable for me to give. And then, I make a calm decision about which charities/causes I am going to support. That way I make a calm decision about where my money goes.

  6. I think *one* of the reasons there’s a push towards more giving around the December holidays is because it is the end of the year, and for people to itemize deductions on their taxes the deadline is fast approaching.

    We haven’t been able to donate money this year, but we have donated a lot of the kids toys that are in great shape, but are outgrown. We donate bucks when we can and time/items when we can’t.

    And as to the comment above about expecting a thank you, yes, when I donate I DO expect a thank you. In the same way I expect a thank you when I give any gift, charitable or otherwise.

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