I used to be really great at saying no to my kids.
“Can I have a cupcake?”
“Can I have a bird?”
“No, but I’ll make chicken for dinner.”
“Can I watch three hours of TV?”
This one just gets a look, there isn’t even a sound required.
Something has shifted and now I think the kids are asking better questions. Alexander is turning 13 this summer and a few weeks ago started asking for a dog of his own. I’ve explained to him that any dog we get would be bonded mostly to me because I’m the one who is home all day. I’ve told him that I’d do the bulk of the training because I have time and he doesn’t. I’ve told him all the breeds he cannot have and why.
There will be no retrievers because they will chase the cat.
There will be no bully breeds because our homeowners insurance is already an extra $900 a year for the trampoline.
There will be no water dogs because I love to swim and I do not wish to swim with a dog. I also like a clean house and wet dogs do not belong in clean homes.
No droolers or jumpers.
So my friend Mark recommended that I look for a livestock guardian dog. He said that they’re larger dogs who have been bred to watch over cattle, sheep and goats. He says that they typically lie in fields all day dozing with one eye open and then chase away anything that threatens the flock. They’re not aggressive unless provoked. He thinks that the Polish Tatra Sheepdog would be a good match for our family. So I looked them up.
Polish Tatra Sheepdogs are 80-130 pounds. SO AM I!
So, we’re still looking. I’m checking out dog rescues. Since we already have pets we’re just not equipped to get a dog from the pound. It’s a set up for failure.
Oh also no puppies. Ever. I see you people with your tiny puppies and you know what I think? I think you’re a sucker. I never want a puppy again. I enjoy sleeping, I enjoy a piss free house and I really love not having my furniture chewed on.
So I’m rescue dog shopping. Mostly because I can’t seem to say no.