Why I’m Against Gay Marriage

07.3.09

I was on the phone last night with my friend Rose who sells stuff on eBay and… well, I’ll just share our conversation with you, and you’ll see why it’s so important to uphold Prop 8 and make sure gays can not ever marry.

ROSE: It’s amazing, almost all of my customers are gay men. It’s like they’re the only ones who have any money left.

ME: It’s a deep recession. Maybe even a depression.

ROSE: But the men have the money. I guess it’s because they don’t have kids.

ME: Kids are expensive. Divorces too, they cost a fortune.

ROSE: So, if gays can marry and have kids, they’ll run out of money.

ME: I think they can already have kids.

ROSE: Oh, but they can’t adopt.

ME: Are you sure?

ROSE: Well I don’t want them to, or they won’t buy my stuff.

ME: Oh, well in that case we should be very clear and make sure there is no gay marriage…

ROSE: or else they’ll run out of money too….

ME: because if they can marry they’ll divorce and…

Well, you can see where it went from there.

So, if you care about the economy even a teeny tiny bit, you’ll see that it’s very important to keep a segment of the population disenfranchised and just a little bit segregated.

But not all the way, because that would be mean. You can still pray for them.