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Why I’m Against Gay Marriage

I was on the phone last night with my friend Rose who sells stuff on eBay and… well, I’ll just share our conversation with you, and you’ll see why it’s so important to uphold Prop 8 and make sure gays can not ever marry.

ROSE: It’s amazing, almost all of my customers are gay men. It’s like they’re the only ones who have any money left.

ME: It’s a deep recession. Maybe even a depression.

ROSE: But the men have the money. I guess it’s because they don’t have kids.

ME: Kids are expensive. Divorces too, they cost a fortune.

ROSE: So, if gays can marry and have kids, they’ll run out of money.

ME: I think they can already have kids.

ROSE: Oh, but they can’t adopt.

ME: Are you sure?

ROSE: Well I don’t want them to, or they won’t buy my stuff.

ME: Oh, well in that case we should be very clear and make sure there is no gay marriage…

ROSE: or else they’ll run out of money too….

ME: because if they can marry they’ll divorce and…

Well, you can see where it went from there.

So, if you care about the economy even a teeny tiny bit, you’ll see that it’s very important to keep a segment of the population disenfranchised and just a little bit segregated.

But not all the way, because that would be mean. You can still pray for them.

17 thoughts on “Why I’m Against Gay Marriage”

  1. Very interesting- here’s a view I never thought of. I was talking to a gay guy in P-Town and he said it’s the women who have all the money because their relationships last and they sock it all away, while men break up and spend rather than save.

  2. You are TOO funny. So true, though, isn’t it. But, they’re going to have kids with or without marriage, don’t you think? I, for the record, am totally FOR prop 8 because I’m a total gay wannabe!

  3. So the reason we’re in recession too here in Canada has nothing to do with a global downturn in the economy and our ties to the US as our largest trading partner; it’s because we were careless enough to let the gays marry each other! :)

    So happy to live where I live. Pride weekend in my city (Vancouver) in a month & the parade is three blocks from my house.

  4. lol!

    I hate to break it to you, because this is an hilarious post, but gay couples in California could and still can adopt together. Prop 8 only says that they have to be unwed parents.

  5. You see, and I heard that we need to let gays marry because they will throw fabulous weddings and kick start this economy with all that spending. I always learn something here :)

  6. So if we ban all marriage, then no one would go broke ina divorce again!
    Kids will always happen. I wonder how many pregnancies (in or out of wedlock) are “accidents” anyway!

  7. This seems to be an XY thing. So maybe it would be okay for the economy if lesbians were allowed and gay men not? Then we are mostly fair and the recovery can kick into high gear.

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