Sit your ass down to eat.
No, you may not eat anywhere but at a table, with a plate.
No, not even if your mom lets you at your house.
I make one meal, it’s always good.
If the food is better at your house, please eat there.
Chew with your mouth shut, I get nauseous watching you.
Say please and thank you, just always.
If your parents haven’t taught you to eat with a fork and knife I will teach you, but I will resent the hell out them.