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It’s My 14th Anniversary and the Only Man Fucking Me is Jerry Brown

Jerry Brown Beats the Hell out of California

Today is my 14th anniversary and my husband is in New York on business. I was kind of bummed about being alone on our anniversary, but we spent last weekend in a resort so plush that I didn’t think I’d have the ability to be bugged about anything for a year.

Until this. You see in the next few days Jerry Brown is poised to sign the Affiliate Nexus Tax and two related nexus bills: AB 153, AB 155 and SB 234. They will go into effect immediately upon signing, and he must sign before July 1st, 2011.

These bills would require bloggers like me (and you) to collect and pay sales tax on purchases made through the ads on our site. These absolute idiots who prance around our capital with not one shred of business sense believe that collecting these miniscule taxes will somehow right our budget.

Not only will the sales taxes not be collected, but publishers and businesspeople will (rightly) continue to flee California and set up shop in states where businesses aren’t cuckolded. If Jerry Brown and his compatriots were reasonable and interested in balancing the budget AB 153, AB 155 and SB 234 wouldn’t get that silly rubber stamp. Instead, they would reduce small business taxes in our state and put people to work.

I get that Best Buy, Target and Walmart don’t like businesses like Amazon and eBay existing, but the reality is that businesses like Amazon and eBay give a lot of opportunities to a lot of small businesses.

So thanks Jerry, it’s a remarkable anniversary. I feel like I’ve been fucked now.

A letter from Amazon:


For well over a decade, the Amazon Associates Program has worked with thousands of California residents. Unfortunately, a potential new law that may be signed by Governor Brown compels us to terminate this program for California-based participants. It specifically imposes the collection of taxes from consumers on sales by online retailers – including but not limited to those referred by California-based marketing affiliates like you – even if those retailers have no physical presence in the state.

We oppose this bill because it is unconstitutional and counterproductive. It is supported by big-box retailers, most of which are based outside California, that seek to harm the affiliate advertising programs of their competitors. Similar legislation in other states has led to job and income losses, and little, if any, new tax revenue. We deeply regret that we must take this action.

As a result, we will terminate contracts with all California residents that are participants in the Amazon Associates Program as of the date (if any) that the California law becomes effective. We will send a follow-up notice to you confirming the termination date if the California law is enacted. In the event that the California law does not become effective before September 30, 2011, we withdraw this notice. As of the termination date, California residents will no longer receive advertising fees for sales referred to,, MYHABIT.COM or Please be assured that all qualifying advertising fees earned on or before the termination date will be processed and paid in full in accordance with the regular payment schedule.

You are receiving this email because our records indicate that you are a resident of California. If you are not currently a resident of California, or if you are relocating to another state in the near future, you can manage the details of your Associates account here. And if you relocate to another state in the near future please contact us for reinstatement into the Amazon Associates Program.

To avoid confusion, we would like to clarify that this development will only impact our ability to offer the Associates Program to California residents and will not affect their ability to purchase from,, MYHABIT.COM or

We have enjoyed working with you and other California-based participants in the Amazon Associates Program and, if this situation is rectified, would very much welcome the opportunity to re-open our Associates Program to California residents. We are also working on alternative ways to help California residents monetize their websites and we will be sure to contact you when these become available.


The Amazon Associates Team

25 thoughts on “It’s My 14th Anniversary and the Only Man Fucking Me is Jerry Brown”

  1. I feel you on this. Im in CA also and got email today. Seriously considering moving to Vegas and setting shop there. Is there any other options?

  2. I agree…we are all being fucked and I’m sorry that this news landed on your anniversary.  I’m moving!

  3. Welcome to it. Illinois did the same months ago and Amazon responded the exact same way. Unless this becomes a national movement, the states without sales taxes will benefit from an affiliate standpoint.

  4. They’ll impose that tax and still not find a way fix a broken public education system. It won’t fix the roads, traffic, or any number of other pieces in the infrastructure that are desperate for help.

  5. I used to be proud to be a transplanted Californian, but now, as a business owner, I’m embarrassed.  I’m embarrassed at how ridiculously difficult it is to do business here in CA. 

    I’m sorry you are alone on your anniversary, but it sounds like you had a great weekend.  Here’s to many more happy years for you and Mr. G.

  6. Had this happen to us last year in Colorado. Now the Dems are trying reverse it after realizing that they’ve lost money (less business revenue = less taxes collected). Frankly, I don’t think Amazon cares. They’re so popular now that they don’t really need affiliates sending them business. People automatically shop at Amazon if they shop online at all.

  7. You know, you’d think before signing these things into law the powers-that-be would say “Hey Colorado & Illinois – how’s that working out for you?” Because it turns out it’s not some sort of money-making machine where you insert demands, wait for compliance, then profit… it’s just a reason for Amazon and other companies using affiliate programs to pull out of your state. 
    I am and will be continually baffled by the belief that the best way to cure deficits is to tax more rather than to spend less. It’s the governmental equivalent of asking your boss to give a raise because you won’t quit running up your credit card balance.

  8. I just have to say that I love your title! Happy anniversary! Too bad Brown had to ruin it for us all. I just opened an Amazon account for another community blog I’m working on. Will CA ever catch a break!?

  9. It’s actually merchants that they’re requiring to collect the tax (but yes, on purchases referred by bloggers/affiliates); but the rest of your post is simply unparalleled. Thank you so much for participating in raising awareness about this issue, Jessica!

  10. Wow, we are really going downhill now. First they let out inmates early, then they cut Police, Social, and other govnm’t workers. Then we go bankrupt regardless, then Arnold, then the Dodgers file for bankruptcy, now new taxes….If something happens to our weather in Los Angeles, I’m moving ;)

  11. My business, will have to move states in order to stay up and running thanks to Jerry Fucking Brown. If I didn’t have a mortgage, believe me, I would have packed up my husband and two German Shepherds and high-tailed it to my husband’s home state of FL. Hopefully there will be some states that are smart enough not to put us small business owners out of business during this recession.

  12. It’s unfortunate that this is not the first time or the only thing Governor Brown is doing to ruin the once great state of California. Thanks to the DREAM Act! many ILLEGAL residents will qualify for the same scholarships that AMERICAN CITIZENS do coming from private sources. When politicians put the needs of people who not citizens from the United States, we are doomed to catastrophic failure as a society and a nation. REVOLT! against your sorry excuses of flesh sitting behind the political banner. Raise awareness that our nation is drowning under the weight of social welfare and political correctness while a populace with liberal agendas continue to castrate people who celebrate what it is to be an American. 

    Good Luck when the dirty masses of shitty countries swell over the southern border and destroy your way of life while politicians continue to care more about them than YOU!

  13. Why can’t Amazon just collect sales taxes like other CA businesses have to do?  If they are relying on avoiding taxes as a competitive advantage over other businesses actually located and employing people in the state, then too bad.  

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