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Parking Lots Bring Out the Worst in Me


I’m parking my little hybrid in Culver City, and it’s a busy Thursday night. The parking structure is full in part because of cars like this.


I found the last spot in the structure, it was a compact parking spot next to a giant Lexus truck. Now,let me be clear, I don’t have it in for SUV drivers, I just think that if you’re going to buy a truck that size that you need to know that not every parking spot will fit you. There will be times when you need to walk an extra block or so because parking isn’t available for your oversized truck.

So I took the squashy parking spot and wedged myself out from between our two Lexus’.

When I returned to my car a couple was putting their toddler into the back of their massive SUV and then she walked to the space between our cars and started inspecting to be sure that I hadn’t dinged her precious car door. She turned to look at me and dripping with insincerity said, “How ever did you manage to get out of your car.”

“I squeezed.” I said matching her fake smile, “I think it was easy because I’m thinner than you.”


31 thoughts on “Parking Lots Bring Out the Worst in Me”

  1. The ones I have come across do seem to have an overdeveloped sense of entitlement. While I can’t condone insulting a woman’s weight just on pure principle, I am sure that she went home and cried.  :0)

  2. OMG…That even made ME tear up a little! 

    I have a smallish SVU (Blazer).  It’s about the same size as a minivan…maybe just a little taller.  I do not like to squeeze in…So I will park further if I need to.  I used to have a teeny compact car.  Once 2 HUGE honkin’ trucks took over 2 compact spaces…leaving the ittiest of spaces for me.  It was the ONLY parking for MILES.  I had to take it.  I couldn’t open my door enough to get out…So I climbed out the window…And my passenger rolled it up behind me.  She is much more petite, and had a little more room on her side…so she squeezed out her side & we left.  The 2 big vehicles were both still there when we came back.  I drove a beater…So we opened the doors and dinged the Hell out of those trucks.  We also left messages on their windshields for them.


  3. I drive a big honkin’ SUV.  The Mr. drives a very nice sedan.  We nearly ALWAYS park in spaces that are such that we only risk one side of our cars to other drivers.  I love curb spots.  Where I work, there is zero care or concern for others in the parking lot.  So despite my best efforts, I have three door dings in my passenger door.  I have left nasty notes for two of the three. 

    You are my hero.  I don’t know that I would have had the wit to say it immediately or out loud.

  4. Just to give them a taste of their own medicine I would have parked directly behind them. Its one thing to park in a spot you dont fit in and be on/over the the line but parking directly over the dividing line shows no regard for anyone else who needs a spot.

  5. If you don’t have it in for big SUV drivers then why mention that you drive a hybrid? Its obvious that you drive it for appearances (“Look at how eco-friendly I am! Tee Hee!) since you went straight to weight when dishing out an insult. God, hybrid drivers piss me off so much. If I ever find your hybrid I will park my Hummer on top of it. 

    1. I think you need to get a grip. Maybe they drive a hybird because they aren’t a giant jerk who drives a hummer because they are over compensating for something.

      1. I drive a Hummer because I race with the Sports Car Club of America. I needed something that could tow my race trailer at 80 mph on the interstate and not complain about it. That and its badass.

    2. Actually, I’m pretty sure she just mentioned it b/c she wanted to emphasize how small her car was in comparison to the double-parked asshole’s car. Also, your Hummer is stupid.

  6. Priceless!!!!!!

    I used to drive a BIG truck, but *I*, unlike my idiot bretheren, (like the “BCS” douchebag earlier) am not so damned lazy that I can’t walk from the far end of the parking lot.

    I would happily key a car like that in a heartbeat.

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