The kids are snacking on Goldfish and drop a few. I find myself standing in the kitchen screeching, “Don’t let the dog eat the Goldfish they have gluten.”
Because, of course, Junior is now gluten free. Let the mocking begin.
Junior was scratching. Not like a little but like OMG get that flea ridden beast out of here. I brought him to the groomer for flea dips and they assured me that there were no fleas. I kicked him out of my bed partly because I worried about infestation and partly because even a five pound dog shakes the bed a lot when he’s scratching.
That didn’t end well. He always comes back.
A girlfriend suggested that Junior might have a little allergy.
“To what?” I asked.
“Gluten.” She replied. I did my best to keep a straight face.
After a few more days I walked into one of those grooming stores that sells swanky dog food and rhinestone collars. I left with a bag of fishy smelling organic and gluten free food. To be perfectly fair Junior had been eating Newman’s Own which is grocery store food, but it’s the organic grocery store food.
The scratching magically stopped. Now I’m stuck buying swank dog food from a salon that’s closed on Sundays and Mondays and screeching if the dog eats gluten crumbs. This is not the life I’d expected.