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Toms, Gap and Mossimo: the Holy Trinity of Fashion Defeat

This is what I wore yesterday.

The shirt isn’t horrible. Well, it wasn’t when I bought it four years ago. Now it’s stained and stretched out and incredibly comfortable. I think the cat hair is an appropriate touch.

The skirt is something I bought at target, obviously without trying it on or looking at the pattern. Had I done either of those things I’d recognize that it’s hideous. By the time I dealt with the ugliness of it I’d succumbed to the comfort. It’s my writing skirt. I can sit and eat and type in this thing. If my mother had a basement I’d be wearing it in there while I blogged and sipped wine from a box.

Then there’s the Toms. There’s no excuse for the Toms. They’re a cheap shoe that’s not particularly good for your feet or the people they purport to help but they sell them at Whole Foods and I love the idea of buying my lambchops, Haagen Daaz and footwear all in the same place.

Oh wait, I actually don’t want to shop that way. It’s like Walmart, only surrounded by organic stuff.

If you’re horrified by the slide please know that the kids are too. When I picked Alexander up from school he hopped in the car and said I looked different. Did I mention that I hadn’t brushed my hair?

I told him that I didn’t feel like looking fancy if Daddy isn’t around. He nodded sagely and said, “I miss him too.”

A few hours later when I picked Jane up from volleyball at the park she chattered away a million miles an hour. Stopped abruptly, looked me up and down and said, “You got out of control pretty quickly this time Mom.”

For the record Mr. G has been out of town since Thursday. I typically only get to looking this bad after a week.

This fish needs her bicycle. Stat.

11 thoughts on “Toms, Gap and Mossimo: the Holy Trinity of Fashion Defeat”

  1. I must be uber frumpy because this is totally something I would wear – I love comfort in a skirt. Minus the stains and cat hair, of course. Well, maybe not minus the stains. Sometimes, you just can’t avoid them.

  2. hilarious.  It can get worse, though.  Think sweats (okay.. they are pajama bottoms) and an oversized sweatshirt.  Our ten year old walked WAY ahead of me this morning when I dropped him off.  I was yelling, “BYE HAVE A NICE DAY!” and he ran full speed into the school.  Mortifying.

  3. Lol. You now have me concerned that I look like an urchin on the weekends. Because aside from work and nights out (that are rare) I’m not even sure I’m at Toms, Black shirt & patterned skirt level of attire. 

  4. I don’t consider $50 for pair of ugly canvas and rubber shoes to be cheap. Even the $1 rubber flipflops from Old Navy would be better than those TOMS. I do like my TOMS ballet flats, though. (That Forbes article was more of a business model critique than a claim that TOMS doesn’t help people.)

    1. Oh I don’t consider $50 cheap either. The shoes are cheap. They are cheaply made with cheap materials. They are, in fact, rather expensive for what they are.

      The problems I’ve heard discussed with Toms is that they distribute shoes to folks who already have them while evangelizing. Kind of annoying. The bigger issue is that they take money from the neighborhoods they distribute in by taking business away from shoe vendors.

      Unintended consequences and all.

  5. I find this hysterical because I think that skirt is cute Jessica. Plus once when I got dressed up my son said to me, “Why do you look nice?” I said, “I just felt like dressing up today.” He said, “When you look pretty you look ugly to me.” I admit that was a long time ago, but clearly I have the opposite problem as you if my kids notice when I dress up and not down! (Though I will admit if I’m making breakfast before doing my hair my daughter will say, “You’re going to do your hair before you go to work right? This from a girl who NEVER brushes her hair. HA!)

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