Chaperoning is for Suckers

This morning I was up at 6 so that Jane and I could get to the local high school by 7.30. Buses pulled out at 8 and we arrived in Blythe midday and then Phoenix, Arizona mid afternoon. Blythe was predicably disgusting with men sitting on milk crates rolling joints and drinking from brown paper bags while we decided which fast food restaurant we’d poison ourselves at.

We arrived at the hotel in the hottest part of the day, 119 degrees to be exact. We had four busloads of volleyball girls disembarking and not a bellman in sight. The hotel rooms are filthy and sitting her on the bed I feel like I’m on a clean island and I’m afraid to step on the floor barefoot since I’ve moved chairs and found potato chips and dirty tissues under them. I’ve scrubbed and dusted and thrown out no smoking signs, clearly they are meaningless as the room smells like a cigarette.

I’ve been to WalMart and I cannot believe the prices or the sadness that permeates that store. It’s the size of of a city and filled to the brim with things that we shouldn’t want and definitely don’t need.

I’m driving a Chevy 15 passenger van and although it’s a 2012 model it has over 20,000 miles on it. I hope that the air conditioning holds out on us and I really hope that I’m able to not crash into people.

The girls are a delight. They are sweet and enthusiastic, they are polite and lovable. Granted, this is day one.

Mr. G has called to find out where the dog leash is, when we’re coming home, if Alexander’s friend Steve wants to sleep over and he wants to know if the housekeeper is coming. I’m not a great communicator with him. These things probably should have been in a note, but we have text messages and I like hearing his voice when he calls.

Should I survive this trip there will be wonderful tales to tell.


Comments 14

  1. Ah, my home town of Phoenix! When I took Jen there she couldn’t even pretend to be interested. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head when I showed her all of the important landmarks from my childhood…the MetroCenter, the Ben Franklin, the 7 Eleven where I used to go to smoke in high school. We’re never going back.

  2. Trying to picture you at a fast food joint and Walmart. Just. can’t. do. it. Good luck to you Jessica! Looking forward to the stories upon your return. (And yes, glad you remembered the corkscrew this time, sounds like you’re gonna need it!)

  3. Let me know if you’d like to trade. I had this whole spiel typed out to give you some perspective since I’m not getting to spend as much time with my kids as I’d like this summer, but I let my husband read it so that I wouldn’t sound too harsh. He got me. Perspective it the fundraising I’m doing so that the father of my son’s classmate, can make payments on the pre-medications he needs to take so that he can get his double lung transplant & see Jeffry make the 8th grade. Jeffry’s mom died two years ago from cancer and all their $ went into her treatments. His two older brothers also died in the 3 years prior to his mom. Perspective. Life is a journey & a short one at that. Take some time to enjoy the ride.

    1. Oh knock it off. You’re helping a friend? Good on you! But just because terrible, terrible things happen in the world doesn’t mean that every single blog post has to wallow in it. It’s ok to bitch about a field trip to Phoenix. People are allowed to be honest about their experiences. 

      Trust me. I have perspective. My father was a brutal alcoholic and my mother died of cancer when I was young. (Is that miserable enough for you?) But I was raised in Phoenix, and it is hell itself. Really. It’s ok to whine about the place. It’s an authentic reaction. 

        1. I was not having ANY FUN at all. NONE. Today was fun and challenging and I’m so sorry that you’re missing your kids and even more deeply sorry that your friends are in such dire straits. 

          I’m also aware that I don’t have to love every moment of parenting in order to love my kids or even to please them. 

          1.  I’m so sorry its been awful! I’m more sorry that you caught me at my most bitter. Hope your days get better & the volleyball goes great for the girls. It is truly the pits when it’s all yucky. I agree &  think you’d have to check someone into a home somewhere if they said they loved every minute of parenting. Thanks for being kind in your reply.

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