In case you’re reading on a small screen here’s the transcript.
FRIEND: I’m taking off the last week of October for staycation/Halloween. Yes, it’s a big holiday for my people. Do you want to go flying one day that week?
ME: Yes! That would be so great.
FRIEND: Cool. Just let me know if you want to do Mon, Tues or Fri. Plan on meeting at Santa Monica airport at 10 am if that’s ok.
ME: When I’m back in town tomorrow I’ll check dates. What time can we be back by?
FRIEND: 3 or 4. Unless you need to be back earlier.
ME: Let me check on Monday. Kids have sports so there will be a good day.
FRIEND: Sorry, I have to cancel flying that week. Going to be out of town. Rain check?
ME: Of course. Where are you going?
FRIEND: [Redacted] and I are going to Madrid and Barcelona. She’s trying to convince hotel staff we’re married to get free champaign. I’m telling everyone I’m traveling with my maid.
ME: Oh WHY did I have kids? I’m so jealous.
FRIEND: If you’re asking a man to explain WHY you had kids, then the Republicans have already won the war for your vagina.