A Strange Note I left Myself
I don’t know who said it or I’d happy attribute it to them, but I opened up my notes folder in my email and found the following:
The more success you have the more difficult it is to be uninhibited because you come to like the success and are afraid of losing it.
I don’t remember where I was but I do recall a speaker saying so and I thought, “Oh yes, that’s why I’ve become so timid with my blogging.” It’s true, it’s very true, because blogging makes me feel like I’ve connected with so many of you. However with so many others it makes me feel like I’m standing here, tits sagging and wearing granny panties… or even worse my Hanky Pankys and you can see that my ass fell.
It’s so scary sometimes to be… wait for it… my authentic self (I know gag Oprahism disgusting) because with every added reader I’m terrified to lose one. It’s crushing every time someone dismisses us (bloggers) as not worthy of reading, and we smile and keep writing but oh please we’d all be keeping journals if we didn’t want to actually be read. Right?
One of my favorite email subscriptions is to fear.less. They don’t update every day, but when they do I’m spellbound, reading about people overcoming incredible hurdles. When my only hurdles are intrinsic and strangers on the internet I feel a little embarrassed and a little empowered all at once.