Royce Hall

Tonight I’m going to see David Sedaris at Royce Hall. I’m a little depressed by the thought of how many frustrated writers might be there. I’m also excited because I’ve heard him on podcasts and radio and whatnot but I’d like to see what the magic is. Why he is so compelling live?

Mr. G came home from his trip last night and it’s abundantly clear that he hates me. Our marriage won’t be ending soon because I plan to punish him by going to my grave as his fat wife.

You see, in addition to bringing Alexander a NY Giants Jersey and Jane an I NY shirt he brought home some of the stuff from his gift bag, including this.

Has he not noticed that I’ve been working with a trainer three days a week? Has ne not noticed that I’m no longer eating dessert in bed (which is where everyone knows it tastes best)? Maybe he thought I’d share it with the kids? It’s not organic, I can’t let the children eat this.

You may notice that the bucket of fat ass is not exactly filled to the brim. This is because I had to sample it for freshness. It was fresh and I’m pretty sure it will be tomorrow too.

Now I have a question for all of you because it’s springtime and springtime means a LOT of shopping in my family. The kids wear uniforms to school so I feel like I’ve whipped out my wallet and sounded the starters pistol this week in preparation for the summer.

I’m finding great stuff for the kids lately and with Jane totally makeup obsessed I’m also enjoying myself. Should I share my shopping finds here (maybe once a week) or would y’all prefer an opt in newsletter?

I need to know so please let me know in the comments.

But first I’m going to dump the caramel corn in the trash, but not in the tub I’m going to let that corn fly out of it because I’m not above pulling a bin of heavenly goodness out of a trash can.