Why I Bought My Mom A Wii

I think we all know that one surefire way to raise an underachieving slacker is to buy them a Wii.

Simply put, high achieving homes don’t let their 7 year old sons sit around and waste their days with Wii tennis and Mario Super-Loser-Town. If I poke around the web I’ll find a handful of housewives who have spent the day flat on their asses with a Wii Nunchuck in their hands.

So when my husband said, “No video games in our house”. I agreed, vehemently.

Then I went to Lisa’s house and watched while our sons played Wii sports. I’m fairly certain I did a good job of nodding and uh-huh-ing at all the proper intervals. Lisa might even have thought I was listening to her.

I was fighting the urge to knock the kids out of the way and smash the tennis racket. Who taught these boys how to swing? What massive failure is it when seven year olds delicately swing on a serve? Has no one explained velocity to them? Why does their backhand start so late? Oh, the feet. It’s all I can do to not rip the controllers out of their sticky little hands and…

Oh, I was supposed to be having an adult conversation.

I realized I really wanted a Wii.
I realized my husband didn’t want one in our house, and has very good reasons for it.
My husband and I are a united front with our children.

But my mother isn’t part of that united front. So I bought her a Wii.

I’ll proudly report that I schooled the kids at Wii Tennis without spilling a drop of red wine.

[muttering *** exercise, my fat ass….]

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