Mommy Blogging from Virgin Airlines @35,000 Feet

There are bruises on my shin because the six year old next to me  fidgets and squirms. I don’t care at all, I miss my own two so much I can no longer be kind to adults. I need to get back to my kids.

I can’t stop thinking about the 140 Conference. I took so much great stuff away from it, but it’s not what you’d expect. Yes, I was in a room with all the stars of Social Media. Yes, I was on a panel with two remarkable women. No, the folks on stage did not dazzle me. The folks who dazzled me were the attendees. They were bright and eager, polite mostly*, and had more to add to the conversation than I ever could have hoped for. 

I met photographers and Moms, start ups in tech, fashion and automotive, and a whole bunch of developers. I was treated to a cocktail at the Roger Smith Hotel and everyone asked the same question.

What do you do?

I’m a Mommy Blogger.

And then they look confused, like I’m supposed to talk about leaky nipples or potty training. At times I oblige. I started a conversation with Jack Dorsey with, “My daughter is so cool that….” and, to his credit, his eyes did not roll up in his head as he feigned interest in my OhMyGawdYouAreMyRockStar rambling. Please Jack, don’t worry, I bore myself.

Sadly I also said, “you look so young, I could burp you.” Yes, I did. For the record, Jack is 32, full of grace and likely has a snapshot of me in his pocket so that he can remember whom to avoid at the next gathering.

Back to the Mommy Blogging. It is not an offensive term. It is not a demeaning term. There is no part of me that wants to be anything more than a wife and a mother. The add on things that I do, like blogging, are because I am a wife and a mother. 

What makes me shudder is when women say ,”I’m not just a mom.” 

Well, of course you aren’t. If you’re a Mom writing about motherhood, you are a mommy blogger. I cannot comprehend where the shame is in that. 

_________

*One guy got up from his seat and handed me his camera, he said, “I’ve got to take a conference call, can you take a picture of each slide?” Obviously, I said no. I’m still wondering who the self important asshat is.

Also, thanks so much to LaLaWag for the interview. You’ve always been a great resource for me, I’m just tickled pink to be there.

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Comments 12

  1. Oh my GOD – you didn’t tell me you told Jack you could burp him. What have I done?? :) I thought YOU were amazing. If you were the only person I met at the conference, it would have been worth it.

    xx
    @emilyspearl

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  2. For me, it’s not that there’s any shame in mommyblogging, it’s that I don’t consider my blog to be principally about this business of mothering. I think of it more as a life blog I suppose.

  3. I can’t say that I consistently read any blog let alone a mommy blog, but your writing rings true to me. Thanks for giving us your time, I love to showcase brilliant witty women.

  4. I dislike the term. Maybe it’s just because I am old and sandwiched in between 2nd and 3rd wave feminists and not particularly jazzed about either interpretation of who I should be as a woman.

    But like Miss Grace, I don’t write all that much about my kids. I didn’t start blogging for anyone but me. I am that kind of narcissist. I blog about life – mine mostly – and writing and my journey from there to here, which includes the mom thing but is a lot more.

    I tell people that I am a writer who blogs.

    It’s interesting that you say you have no aspirations beyond wife and mom. I actually had the same view when I was in college, but ended up with a career in teaching, mostly because my peers looked down on women who wanted to “just” be a mom and wife. But once upon a time, the life I live now is the one I dreamt of.

  5. Interesting. I’ve not thought about the connotations of the term. I am a mom. Who blogs. Some of it about the kids and some not. Personally, I enjoy reading other mom bloggers, but not when it’s all and only about the kids. That makes me wonder who MOM is….does she even know? We all get lost in our identity as moms, it can be smothering sometimes, consuming. That’s why I like to see mom bloggers using a blog as an extension of themselves. Blogs we can relate to on a level that is more than “aaawwwww, your kid is adorable!” Their personal thoughts on their chosen paths, it makes some of us moms feel less alone.

  6. Hey sweet girl. Thank you again so much for coming to my coast and blowing my mind as always. I still can’t believe I’m the one who said vagina on the panel.

    I know I said the term “mommy blogger” was gross and icky from the podium (yes, I must have missed my kids, too) but I should have added the caveat- when other mothers who write use it, I get it. It’s a code that says “This is the stage I’m in right now- the trenches. And this is my primary affiliation.” That makes sense to me, and it’s a self broadcast label.

    What I don’t like is when I hear the term “Mommy bloggers” in sentences like, “I’ll just get a bunch of mommy bloggers to do it for free,” from a marketing person, the impression being we’ll too dazzled by diaper coupons and free Tide and whatnot that we won’t notice our time, influence, and value are being traded for far, far less than they’re worth. That’s icky to me, not the mommy part. That’s someone from outside my community applying a label meant to be diminutive and dismissive. Mommy don’t play that.

    And I’ve heard it more than once. But not from the same lips, because we stop talking after the first time. xoxo, L

    SO glad you’re back with Jane and Alexander- give them my best.:)

  7. i always tell people i’m a mommy blogger when they ask me what i do. then, the look at me blankly…and ask if there is money in it. for me, there isn’t. but…i’m still proud as hell to be a mommy blogger. because that’s what i do!
    to make money, i work for my dad ;)

  8. Of all things, I thought I would see tweets from your panel. Not that you would tweet as you spoke…

    Still, wondering what was said. Where is the link to it?

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