I don’t understand why some parents let their girls go out in some of the outfits I see. We work hard to teach our daughter that there is no need to get attention by dressing like this.
But someone must be buying these things or the manufacturers would have given up on them.
YES they are too sexy, too provocative and too much…we must let our girls be little girls. Britney Spears is one of the pop icons to blame for some of this shift from innocence…but it’s up to Moms like you all (especially “Got to be cold and dead” Jessica Gottleib) and Dads to just say NO to tarty clothes and when you all stop buying that stuff – it will go away – I hope.
even Hannah, who was supposed to be a good role model also has ner name on slutwear at walmart now. It’s ridiculous and disgusting. What parent allows this in good conscience? Although judging by what I see moms wearing, it’s little wonder that they dress as they do.
My mother’s take on it is something I will never forget–even now. She was very frank with me, and I think that’s why it’s stuck with me for so long. This is from my journal archives–it’s not verbatim, but it’s close as we’re ever going to get:
You want to dress this way because it’s appealing to look at. I agree, it is. You look ravishing. But there are some issues with this look that I think are important to bring to your attention–because I know it can be hard to think of these things when you’re looking in the mirror and feeling fabulous.
Dressing sexy implies availability. Specifically, it implies sexual availability. That you’re not partaking in any such behavior isn’t really an issue. You’ll find perception has very little to do with reality. What people assume is usually taken by them as fact–and this so-called fact is grossly contagious. Now, I know you’re thinking fine, whatever, people will think what they like. In a sense, I agree–unless it conflicts with what you’re seeking to achieve in the first place, which is, evidently, desirability.
And it does conflict in this case: availability is the enemy of desire.
You must never seem available. Remember the Tickle Me Elmo? Remember how crazy people were about that thing? That’s scarcity for you. This is simple economics and it applies to people, too. No one likes something commonplace. No one likes something that is or appears easy to get–not for more than five minutes. And you’re looking for the long-term, I’m guessing?
I thought so.
Now, I’m not saying you should strive to look frumpy–ever. And I won’t feed you goo about your body being a temple or a treasure or whatever people say. Your body is an asset–just like your brain and your time. And you should exercise absolute control of all your assets and deploy them with an understanding of the laws of supply and demand. They are not to be squandered on the unwashed masses–and certainly not at random.
Sexiness is effortless for the unavailable. You must evolve to be your own publicist and intuitively understand the execution of these things. Until then, I will help you. So no, you can’t wear that.
“Excessive exposure” was another reason I couldn’t attend all the parties, and learned to choose which merited my attendance. She also had a weird curfew rule that went along with this: I could pick when I came home, but she would pick how many hours I was allowed out. Usually two or three if it was night.
My father, who reads all my columns and watches my social media feeds, still warns me about excessive exposure. You can partially blame them for the periods I spend locked up in my apartment.
Sometimes dads are the problem! He came back from garage sales with a bunch of outfits. Some of it was great; basic shorts, crop pants, play dresses; and then I see them; the itsy bitsy tank strap tops with shelf bras; for a SIX YEAR OLD. And while I thanked him for taking the initiative, these were pitched, and I explained more like them that arrived would also be ptiched.
He now buys the fancy party dresses & the winter coats. Because you can get good bargains on these at garage/estate sales (which he loves to do and I hate to do) but giving him structure on what to buy presents the waste on clothes that will never appear on our child.
I don’t understand why some parents let their girls go out in some of the outfits I see. We work hard to teach our daughter that there is no need to get attention by dressing like this.
But someone must be buying these things or the manufacturers would have given up on them.
We finally agree on something, believe it or not.
http://attorneyatmom.blogspot.com/2009/06/precious-booty.html
YES they are too sexy, too provocative and too much…we must let our girls be little girls. Britney Spears is one of the pop icons to blame for some of this shift from innocence…but it’s up to Moms like you all (especially “Got to be cold and dead” Jessica Gottleib) and Dads to just say NO to tarty clothes and when you all stop buying that stuff – it will go away – I hope.
:)
even Hannah, who was supposed to be a good role model also has ner name on slutwear at walmart now. It’s ridiculous and disgusting. What parent allows this in good conscience? Although judging by what I see moms wearing, it’s little wonder that they dress as they do.
My mother’s take on it is something I will never forget–even now. She was very frank with me, and I think that’s why it’s stuck with me for so long. This is from my journal archives–it’s not verbatim, but it’s close as we’re ever going to get:
“Excessive exposure” was another reason I couldn’t attend all the parties, and learned to choose which merited my attendance. She also had a weird curfew rule that went along with this: I could pick when I came home, but she would pick how many hours I was allowed out. Usually two or three if it was night.
My father, who reads all my columns and watches my social media feeds, still warns me about excessive exposure. You can partially blame them for the periods I spend locked up in my apartment.
Sometimes dads are the problem! He came back from garage sales with a bunch of outfits. Some of it was great; basic shorts, crop pants, play dresses; and then I see them; the itsy bitsy tank strap tops with shelf bras; for a SIX YEAR OLD. And while I thanked him for taking the initiative, these were pitched, and I explained more like them that arrived would also be ptiched.
He now buys the fancy party dresses & the winter coats. Because you can get good bargains on these at garage/estate sales (which he loves to do and I hate to do) but giving him structure on what to buy presents the waste on clothes that will never appear on our child.