Men are Such Whiners

Mr. G had his surgery Thursday. He came home in a drug induced haze and my mother handed him a bell to ring so he could summon me. The ringing of the bell was unpleasant but very likely felt about 8,000 times better than my husband’s head did after being cut open.

As much as that bell irritated me, my husband never did.

Maybe I live in an alternate universe but I’m really surprised when the first things folks expect to hear from me is that my husband is a whiny baby when he’s sick. First of all he isn’t so the assertion that men are babies when they are sick is patently untrue. My son isn’t particularly needy when he’s feeling ill.

The only high maintenance sick person in this house is me.

I’ve spent the last two years moaning about my own health, staying downstairs for most of the day (and asking my family to run up and down for me), and avoiding anyone who so much as sniffles (no matter how much I love them). Maybe because of my neediness I’m sensitive to this. I try to not whine. I try to be a good mother but the reality is that good mothers can get up and down stairs a little better than I. Good mothers don’t need to pull their cars to the side of the road for a nap.

I did the best I could.

So maybe it’s my own insecurity that makes me cringe when folks want to know how whiny my husband is. My typical reaction is to tell them that he’s Superman. I’m sure Mr. G would die if he could hear me talk because one of his superpowers is humility, another other is his physical strength. His surgery was Thursday, the doctor shaved down his septum and then fucked around with his sinus cavity either tamping things down or scraping things out… I don’t recall exactly because I was busy trying to not pass out when the doctor described it. Friday morning my husband didn’t require pain killers.

Maybe he’s so out of touch with his feelings that he can’t even feel the physical ones. If so he’s the perfect man because I’m incredibly inconsiderate and clumsy. I can hurt both body and soul, but never on purpose. Not with him anyhow.

I’m prickly about this one today. I¬†hope¬†suspect that my son is going to get married one day and I’d hate to think that his bride was weaned on a steady diet of men are weak. My daughter deserves the opportunity to love a man without making fun of him for being one. My children worship their father, he has earned that lofty position and I guard it for all of our sakes. I love my girlfriends, all of you, and we’ve promised to not tear each other down. I’d love for us to promise the same for each other’s spouses.

 

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  1. My husband is an independent sick person as well. He hasn’t had surgery, but he certainly wants to be left to his own when he is sick. The idea that men are whiny weaklings about their health is incorrect in most of the cases I know of.

  2. Of course I’ve heard all the same complaints about men and I just shake my head and laugh at the women saying it. Obviously they are not in the relationship they wished they were.

    My wife and I look at each other quite often and talk about if we are really that different from most. Every day we see couples and their words or actions make us stop and be thankful for what we have.

    Not all men whine and not all women bitch. Plenty do, but not all of us.

  3. I have never understood why some women like to tear down their husbands, especially online.

    Sometimes I see posts where someone has spent a big chunk of time talking about how their spouse is an incompetent buffoon, who is weak and worthless, but magically loveable.

    Every time I read something like that I want to ask the writer about their judgment, or should I say lack thereof. If they are so smart how did they manage to marry such an idiot.

    Maybe they are kidding and maybe they aren’t, but they just put that out there where their children might read it again, and again and again.

  4. I’ll be finding myself in a similar situation next Tuesday when my husband has a surgery (removal of extra sinus, polyps, etc). He’s been through a similar one once before. He sat in bed and endured two days of Barbie and The Mermaid Tale … the only thing he whined about was the movie. I happen to think he’s a pretty brave man for enduring this surgery not once but twice now. I on the other hand would be whimpering and whining before they even knocked me out.

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