Before this blog, I had another anonymous blog. It was okay and had a nice group of people attached to it. Both my husband and mother refer to this blog as the not very entertaining one.
So, I thought I’d take a moment to let my mother entertain you. This is from November of 2007, pardon me if you’ve read it before, but it’s such a good indicator of the family dynamic that I thought it was worth dusting off and recycling.
I apologize for any typos, I’m still in fits and giggles but here’s my morning phone call.
Me: Good morning.
Granny: It’s so weird I’m at Cristophe for a haircut and Francois isn’t here.
Me: Ooh that is odd (our colorist has moved on)
Granny: blah blah blah Kids blah blah Dog.
Granny: Which reminds me, we’ve just finished our will.
Me: Oh, who has to take the fucking dog if you die?
Granny: You like her, you know it, and there’s a codicil on there so whoever gets her will get some money.
Me: How much?
Granny: You know, our attorney’s a real dog lover and we were thinking $10,000 or $20,000 and he was suggesting $50,000 in case she’s sick and you have to…. [at this point my lovely mother is still talking but I’m too hysterical laughing to actually hear anything]
Granny: What’s so funny?
Me: [still in fits]
Granny: What’s so funny? This is going to be on your G-d Damn blog isn’t it? Do I have to read that damn thing to find out what’s so funny?
Me: No Mom, it’s fine. It’s just funny that your lawyer would give me $50,000 to put your dog to sleep.
Dude, seriously, $500 is fine, if I have to buy an animal anything more than Tylenol down it goes.
Yeah, I’m all warm and fuzzy that way. I’m so excited that Granny’s leaving me her dog, although I have a feeling that the brothers might find themselves loving said dog a little more after they read this.
$50,000? I swear to all that is holy, Granny’s lawyer is a moron.