My inbox is filling up with marketers and publicists who want to get The Mommy Bloggers to talk about their stuff.
Since everyone knows that The Mommy Bloggers are a homogenous group I thought I’d give you a list of pitches that will never work for me. I’m pretty sure they work for everyone else otherwise I wouldn’t get a dozen of these every hour.
- I won’t post a photo of a celebrity wearing your clothing. I don’t care about celebrities. I care about bloggers.
- I won’t bring my children to your event. They are not bloggers.
- I don’t really talk about what I wear until after I’ve purchased it so sending me high resolution photos isn’t really a great idea.
- I don’t keep clothes that people send me, so sending me samples is also not a great idea.
- My husband doesn’t smoke cigars or wear ties
- My dog doesn’t wear clothes.
- I can’t talk about the gifts I’ve bought for anyone because they read my blog. So you can skip all the gift guides. I did one once, it was a lot of work.
- I won’t tell you what we’re planning to wear for Halloween, but that’s just because no one cares
- I don’t really want to work hard, so if your pitch looks like work then it won’t get read.
- Your new app may be great, but since the only app I’ve ever written about is iFart. It is the only app worth writing about.
- Do not add me to constant contact, icontact or any other mass email list. There is no reason for me to care about the same content everyone else is getting.
- If you didn’t come from my womb don’t call me Mom, Mommy or Mami. I’m not your mother, I’m Mrs. Gottlieb, address your emails appropriately.
- I don’t talk about TV shows so you can probably skip those, I’m basically a pop culture disaster.
- If you’re having a contest you can buy an ad but word of mouth on something with a huge budget? Only an idiot would pick up that flaming baton
Pitches that do work
- I do love to talk about my friend’s successes so connecting with me on various social networks is a good idea.
- Lend me a car
- Show me how you build your cars
- Lend me a computer
- Give my kids an experience that I can’t provide them with (and keep in mind that I can provide a lot)
- I will bring my children to your event if you are Tony Hawk.
- Change the world and make it magnificent. I will talk about that for ages.
- Do something good.