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My Name’s Not Mom This Week

We had mono drama which cannot be compared with drama of any other sort. You see Jane went kayaking and sailing at camp on Thursday, hopped into the car at 3pm, declared it a wonderful day and fell promptly asleep. Jane isn’t a kid who naps. This is unusual. When Jane woke up she said she had a sore throat. After dinner she said she had a really sore throat.

Since I was bringing her to camp for two weeks on Sunday I thought it would be prudent to swing by the urgent care. If she tested positive for strep she could be feeling better in 12 hours or less.

Jane tested negative for strep and when I’d mentioned her long nap to the doctor she ran a test for mononucleosis. They did a pinprick and eight minutes later Jane and I overheard the nurse saying to the doctor, “Do you see that line?” It was faint but they thought it was there.

Jane left the office with a diagnosis of mononucleosis and a dark cloud over her head. On Friday morning, before Jane could wake up and hear me, I called surf camp to cancel her reservation. I explained that she was ill (big mistake) and told them I’d fax in a doctor’s note in the next day or so. I brought Alexander to the doctor Friday morning to make sure he didn’t have mono as I didn’t want to send him to his camp on Catalina Island just to be sick.

So after the doctor’s office I brought Alexander to day camp and then I headed home to tend to my sick daughter who was not particularly sick. I had her take a rest day to make sure she was actually okay. Saturday night I called the camp to let them know she was coming and to give them the Amtrak itinerary. No problem! they said. We packed Jane for camp and stuck her on the Surfliner. This summer Jane has flown Delta twice and taken a train, she delighted in both but we all loved the Amtrak employees who were so sweet to her.

After leaving Jane I checked my email and saw a note from the camp letting me know that she could not attend camp unless she had a doctor’s note with her. Alternately I could have one faxed in before her arrival. This is when I lost my shit. Where would I get a doctor to fax a note on a Sunday? Jane was already en route I had two hours and 30 minutes to make this happen.

I’m Jewish, so I picked up my cell phone and started texting the MD’s in the family and then I emailed the kids’ physicians. This is ridiculous on a Sunday morning. At about the same moment that the pediatricians emailed me (each of them did) the camp director emailed to say that the doctor could fax a note during the day Monday, Jane could come to camp if she wasn’t sick.

I relaxed and texted the MDs. It’s a good thing that the email came in quickly because plan B was to just go ahead and forge a note. What were they going to do? Put me in summer camp jail? My only conundrum was in deciding whose name to forge.

Sunday was all about Alexander and I dropped him off at camp this afternoon so I’m kid free for a week. I really miss them but I also need a few minutes to not be Mom. Well, I went into Jane’s room to clean up a little and after seeing this I missed her a little less.