Skip to content

John McCain

Sarah Palin Is Just Like Me: Only More Employed

This morning I got an email from Mar Vista Mom asking me what I thought about Sarah Palin. Is this a good thing? The reason she’s asking me isn’t because I’m such an awesome and insightful political pundit. It’s because, here in Los Angeles I’m the only Republican she knows. Yeah, it’s not fun talking politics in LA.

Much like my finely honed gaydar (yes I can sniff out a good dancer at 100 yards), I do have a feeling that there’s one other LA Mom who votes like I do, but I’ll let her come out of the closet in her own sweet time.

To get real clear I need to let y’all know where I stand. I’ve been a registered Republican since my early twenties, and I’ve voted mostly along the party lines but never thoughtlessly. I didn’t vote for W the second time. I just couldn’t. When W said he was a compassionate conservative I thought holy shit man, me too! But then I found out that his speech writers were just prone to alliteration and words he could pronounce.

I am deeply apologetic for the W years. Please accept my apology, we will do better next time.

Mc Cain doesn’t excite me, but he doesn’t repel me either. I don’t think he’s shot anyone in the face or been incapable of chewing and cheering simultaneously so I guess we’re on the upswing.

Sarah Palin could be exciting though.

My first reaction was, Lowest Common Denominator. Seriously, she’s from a state with about 30 people in it and she’s named her children Moonray and Stinger. She doesn’t take her glasses off for a picture, and has five children. She’s almost as wacky as my very own mother.

She’s got a boy who’s about to be deployed though.
Oh, and one with Down Syndrome.

They say Palin has gotten rid of the pork barrel spending that Alaska has lived off of and helped restore integrity to politics.

I don’t love her comments about the “Glass Ceiling”. I know you won’t believe me when I tell you I’m a feminist, but The Glass Ceiling won’t be shattered by explaining to men why we have such delicate constitutions and such precious needs.

I adore the fiscal policies of the Republican Party, and I fear greatly us becoming a nation incapable of reaching down and grabbing our bootstraps. I recall someone saying, “what bootstraps?” at the DNC… way to infantilize the drooling masses. If you’re reading this on-line, you have the ability to make a living. No more bullshit, stop whining. If you don’t have a job in Hollywood, go thank your local union, there’s a guy making $25 an hour plus benefits to hold onto an electrical cord so no one trips on it. No, I’m not making that up. Your unions really are that ridiculous. Yes, my husband will effing kill me for saying so.

Sarah Palin is nothing like I am, and she’s really not the big draw to the party. I am Pro-Life and cannot be the friend you run to when you feel that you need an abortion. By the same token I will stand beside the women in community and fight to keep abortions safe and legal. Because really, we can’t have a bunch of mothers dying on us. We need them.

Ms. Palin is the penultimate feminist, bucking the system, having a large family and working like a mad woman outside her home whilst bridging two communities. I like her because she has nerve. I love that she has slowed down wasteful spending. Did I repeat myself? Oh, I love that she has slowed down wasteful spending. Did y’all hear me. This woman is not a career politician. I’m hopeful. Very hopeful.

I won’t insult women everywhere by saying that I will vote for her because she has a set of ovaries. Because really, that would be ridiculous.

With November several months away, I find myself still undecided. Last week I would have voted for Obama, now that I’ve heard him speak, and thought about the consequences of his socialist leanings, I’m more certain that he’s not for me.