To be clear on a few things, my son hit another boy. It broke my heart. He says he was playing, and I believe him. Eight year olds are still learning where play wrestling ends and violence begins. None of that really matters to the other little boy, he felt bullied.
As his mother I am crushed. I am weepy at the fact that my son hurt someone else’s son. Every part of it is upsetting. He didn’t mean to hurt someone else, but he did, and sometimes your intentions simply do not matter. Only your actions do. Some days are easy, some days are not. This week has not been easy on either of us, but it’s been important.
As for hitting girls. He is never allowed to. Ever. You can tell me how big some of the girls are, how bitchy… any of it. I fully expect that at some point in childhood my son will have a fistfight, little boys and young men experience that. We will cross that bridge when we get there.
I know you’ll find this upsetting, but were someone to raise their hand to my daughter, we would call the police. Jane is far from helpless. It is a double standard. Boys and girls are different.
That’s just my reality. That’s the way the world works, and I’m okay with it.
The third grade is having a hard time getting their groove. The boys are punching to play, but then the punches hurt too. Some of the kids are feeling bullied, and some parents were surprised to find that their kids were the ones hitting too hard.
It’s crushing to think your child has been hit. My son was kicked by a little girl playing with him. He was kicked repeatedly, and then he hit back. I had to talk to him, and tell him that he’s not allowed to hit a girl, even in self defense. His only defense from a girl is to hold his hand out so she can’t reach him. That is all.
Really, what I wanted to be able to tell my son is, “good grief just kick her back, teach her a lesson. Don’t let anyone hurt you.”
But I couldn’t do that. Because that wouldn’t be right.
And then I had to talk to him about not playing too rough. That not all kids will tell you when you’re hurting them so you can’t be pulling on people’s arms, or punching for fun. I think he was mystified, but accepting. It’s a lot for an eight year old to understand.
It was a lot for me to discuss, and it made me cry. These are good kids, they don’t want to hurt each other, but they’re just not aware of the world outside of themselves. All of them. They’re growing and changing, and we’re entering a new phase of childhood. Frankly, it’s terrifying.
This week on Momversation Giyen Kim wants to know what happens when someone else’s kid gets hurt on your watch.
What you don’t know, is that after a party gone wrong Giyen was asking Mindy Roberts, Karen Walrond and me to tell her something to make her feel less awful. I think I did the job nicely.
What I want to know from you is, what do you do when someone else’s kid gets hurt when you’re watching them?
I’ve had a super busy day today, but I know many of you come here looking for technology each week.
Today I found out about a great new iPhone app. The American Museum of Natural History (you know the iconic one in New York the one everyone knows) has released an iPhone app. It’s free and it’s fun. You can use it while you visit the museum or just let your kids explore the dinosaurs virtually.
To get the app, just click here, and you’ll be taken to iTunes. Here’s a fun video that explains it more in depth. Since it comes to you via AMNH you know it’s good information for your curious kids.
I hope to be able to compare my iPhone and my Nexus 1 for you next week. I’m still feeling my way around Android.
According to my friend Michelle, you’re supposed to change your Facebook avatar to your doppelganger this week.
That would be super easy if I’d known what a doppelganger is. Shut up, you had to google it too!
A few weeks ago my husband’s friend Joey called, he said he’d seen The Tooth Fairy and that Ashley Judd looked and behaved just like I do. I asked my husband to call him back, (I might have been shrill), “Oh my gawd is she stupid in the movie? Isn’t she always doing weight loss commercials? Am I mistaken or is she just plain doughy?” I continued, “Call him back, find out if Joey hates me!”
I went and saw the movie for myself. It was okay… but really, the point of it is.
Ashley Judd is neither doughy nor silly in the movie. Joey likes me, and I’m pretty sure I know what doppelganger means.
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Here’s a list of gifts that I’d love to get or give.
I’m a married woman, so whatever he spends is my money too. If I could pick anything in the world, it would be a Porsche Panamera with yachting trim or a collection of Clean Legged Bantam hens from McMurray Hatchery. At the moment, my husband is not amenable to either plan, so I recommend the following.
