The Parents of the Sexy Dancing Kids Go On Good Morning America

And they are (not surprisingly) totally inarticulate. Cory Miller is very proud of his daughter.

For background see my last post.

I’d also encourage all parents to read my post about privacy. Our behaviors are seldom private any more, and I cannot even bother to comment about putting this in context. There is no context necessary.

119 thoughts on “The Parents of the Sexy Dancing Kids Go On Good Morning America”

  1. (posted on your original topic a few minutes ago…) watching the 2 parents on GMA this morning proves one thing… They’re out of touch with reality.

    To say you didn’t intend this performance to get on the Internet? Really? Who put it up there? To say that the dance clothes were designed for MOVEMENT and to show the girls definition / body clearly is ridiculous. A costumer with decency would not have created something for the “Boom Boom Room” as is now being referred to online.

    Yes, they are talented and if that is what it takes to be successful with a competition then I say it’s time to not participate and find something else for our daughters to be involved in.

    OH and if they are so proud – why the hell are they NOW trying to take it down? Cause they feel guilty about it? right… whateva!

  2. I think mom and dad should have practiced what they were going to say a little more. I mean, really… you are on national television – prepare. I was cringing the whole way through. I’m embarrassed for them. What was their point, again?
    It wasn’t meant for people to see? What? Of course it was meant for people to see. It was a dance competition ( as the mom repeatedly reminds us). How can it be taken out of context? A home video shot in your living room can be taken out of context. A public venue is for.. uh… public viewing.

  3. The “taken out of context” argument is CRAP. So what if you didn’t expect millions to see it. That doesn’t make it right. That’s like saying I murdered someone but since no one saw me, it doesn’t matter. Ridonkulous.

  4. i feel sorry for the kids. they have parents who lack a full complement of brain cells. there are too many contradictions in the parents’ interview to even get into, but the bottom line is that eight and nine year old kids should not be performing sexually charged dance routines nor should they be wearing sexy costumes. children grow up fast enough. this type of thing only quickens the pace.

    • Exactly. Now that was awkward…. ugh! this whole thing is gross! I showed the video to my husband just to give him a context from what I was ranting about. He saw about 30 second and got up to leave. He couldn’t stand it, especially since we have a little girl of our own.

  5. Inarticulate doesn’t begin to describe it. They are really out of touch and it’s crazy to think they didn’t know it would get on the internet. What Century do they think this is?

  6. Well at least she addressed the inappropriate outfits by stating that “ruffles and rhinestones” are part of the costuming in dance competitions.

    Lady, wake up – not one person was worried that there were too many rhinestones or about the size of the ruffles!!!

    The problem boils down to parents living through their children.

  7. I don’t expect these little girls to be held accountable for this. They weren’t the choreographers nor were they responsible for the costuming.

    The father kills me, “We’re trying to control it and stop it”. He doesn’t understand why this is a problem. All he cares about is trying to cover his ass.

    And the mother’s explanation that the costumes are designed not to be restrictive is just asinine. You can find age appropriate costumes that aren’t restrictive.

    Don’t tell me that the video wasn’t meant to be viewed by millions. That is as dumb as the pedophile who claims that it is “just our secret.”

    I’d have more respect for him if he said that it didn’t occur to him that people would find this to be inappropriate. It would be a dumb mistake, but at least it would give the semblance that he understands that this is wrong.

    I feel badly for those girls. They aren’t responsible for any of this and now they are stuck in the middle.

  8. They’re both idiots and trying to “control” and “stop” this now, when they clearly see no problem with it, isn’t going to stop it from happening next time. The only reason the parents are paying it any mind is because it’s getting all this negative media attention. But they’re DEFENDING it, when what they should have been doing 6/8 months ago is saying “hey dance teacher/choreographer/costumer, these kids are EIGHT, let’s ditch the bump and grind, and while we’re at it a little more coverage please.” It’s called being a parent. Getting off my soapbox now.

  9. OMG!!!! The parents piss me off so much I want to reach in to the screen and throttle them!!! It’s not the song choice – it’s the outfits and gyrations!! How did they not realize that this would make it’s way online – did they think that no one in the audience would have a phone, flip video, camera, etc….


  10. Thanks for sharing – I totally agree with you – and especially as the mom of two young boys, I really hope that parents get the picture. Really sickening, whether at a dance competition or not, the dance teacher should not allow this, nor the parents.

  11. Wow. In one sentence the mom said her daughter hasn’t watched Beyonce’s video-IE we protect her from it-but it’s a permeated our culture to the point where her daughter is dancing the same routine?

    Adults signed their kids up for dance lessons, an adult chose the song and choreographed the routine, an adult chose the costumes. I don’t care if that’s “normal” for dance competitions, it’s not normal in the real world.

  12. oh good christ. jessica, i am so glad you are posting on this… it makes me ill, but needs to be out there in terms of awareness so that this insanity of sexualizing LITTLE GIRLS stops.

  13. Those parents are clearly fame whores and really enjoyed that moment on tv. I loved when they cutaway to Beyonce, who was basically wearing MORE than the little girls! the parents are delusional in so many ways…

  14. This is no different from when my heart sunk when I watched TLC ‘Toddlers and Tieras’ for the first (and last) time. I saw a sweet innocent toddler in her footie-pajamas getting a hair extension attached to her head. The real clincher was seeing a tiny three-year-old getting her blue corset laced up. All these images are on the TLC/Discovery website. Why is this happening to our sweet innocent kids?

    Encouraging young kids to participate in inappropriate Vegas/PussyCatDoll/showgirl-like events is so wrong. This type of entertainment is for adults created by adults (not kids). It’s sick and pathological. As parents we have to take a stand.

  15. WTF!? I cannot believe that Mother said it was taken out of context?! If you allow your child to do something like this and it’s recorded then there is a chance it will be seen by others. Also, I love how she contradicts herself when she says her daughter does NOT watch music vidoes, like that somehow makes her better!? WHAT!
    Coming from a Dad, too, I find it even more disturbing since Dads are typically pretty protective of their little girls.

  16. I’m not sure why everyone is so surprised at this video. Yes, I find it offensive and completely inappropriate for girls of this age. But we’ve set up Beyonce and other pop culture icons like her for our small girls to emulate. If this is what they are watching and listening to – and if they are buying into our culture’s oversexualization of women – then of course they want to act like the “grown up” women. Yes, the parents are at fault. But so is our culture that promotes this idea of womanhood.

  17. It’s not the costumes that are worrisome.. it’s the routine. It’s highly sexualized with bumping and grinding. I’d be embarrassed watching a grown woman doing that dance.

  18. I watched this clip on TV and I was appalled at what I saw. No way in the world would I allow my children to do something like that!!! And society wonders why some children are so out of control nowadays!!

  19. It is both. It is the costumes. It is the moves.

    And more than anything, it is the crazy adults.

    These kids were coached to move in a way that implies and emphasizes sexuality.

    They were then dressed in outfits that are not only skimpy but emphasize secondary sexual characteristics….which SEVEN AND EIGHT YEAR OLDS SHOULD NOT EVEN POSESS…let alone emphasize to great applause.

    Those moves are straight out of cardio strip-tease.

    The costume tanga pants belong on a float at Carnaval.

    The fact that many or even all of the girls are unaware of what is being done to them does not make it any better…perhaps it may even make it worse. This is so over-the-top wrong that I can’t really draw those fine distinctions at the moment.

    I see nothing wrong with young children wearing bikinis (to the pool). There is nothing sexual about a child’s body. It isn’t the skin that is the issue to me but rather the way they are “decorated”.

    That said, you can easily “see the lines” of dance in a bodysuit.

    But this was a child’s body done up to look like and coached to move like a woman’s.

    Not. Cool.

  20. I can hardly find the words. It’s amazing their choreographer felt the song choice, costume choice and moves were age appropriate…. but more frightning that the parents of these young girls did! WOW! So sad. These kids don’t have any advocates for them, close to them.

  21. I’m a woman and i’m 28 years old. I want to say that this kind of outfit and this kind of dance can not do any harm to a kid. What can harm a small girl’s mind and heart though, are the things she receives from home. Let’s just focus on the values her family passes to a small girl. Stop hating a dancing routine and stop being so ignorant and conservative! The girls were adorable and very good at what they were doing. Now if an adult receives that in the wrong way maybe they have a dirty mind or maybe they don’t know what’s really important after all.

  22. People are saying that there’s nothing wrong with it because the girls don’t see themselves doing anything wrong… uh, HELLO? Parents are supposed to be guiding their children, to protect them from possible dangers of being sexualised, exploited, etc, but now they’re just putting their kids on show like that? Granted, when I was 6, I performed in some dance routines, but we never wore outfits like this.

    I have to say, i’m glad my parents did dress me up like that.

  23. This is how society is evolving, unfortunately. Parents need to raise their own children and instill values, most don’t raise let alone instill. We are a culture of how much you have vs. who you are, and the house and the suv take precedence over what really matters, the children, our future. So the kids are left swayed by whatever takes their fancy, without much direction from a parent, which has been going on long enough to effect at least the last generation, thus the parents in this video.

    I was shocked to see tiny children’s t-back underwear in the stores a couple of years ago, I grew up when the t-back swimwear was popular, although I had the body for it back in the day, I would never have worn such a thing, and I was in my 20’s. It seemed to me an invitation, and inappropriate to my values. I was sure they were new to the stores and there would be outrage by parents, and removed from the shelves promptly. They were not, and parents think it’s ok to have their little girl’s rear end shown in such a thing.

    But, look around, this is one of MANY issues that people just don’t get, like childhood obesity, hormones in our food system , land and animal conservation, etc. And that takes us back to the house and the suv, no time for all these other issues.

    What did we think would happen?

  24. Unbelievable!!! Naturally and logically parents don’t put their children to dance a sexy sexy moves almost like a strippers are dancing and furthermore to dress them up like ones!!!!! And after we can’t understand why there are so many perverts and pedophiles?! Look why!!!!!!! The answer is this video!!!!!

  25. unfornately this has carried over to the street also. i see more little girls that appear to be dressed very suggestively. The perverts must be having a field day.

  26. Disgusting, does not even come close to describing this dance routine and as for the parents comments, stop justifying what you are doing. You should be ashamed to call yourself parents!!
    Costumes do not enhance body form or moves…wake up!!
    I am not prudish, however, I felt so uncomfortable watching this video that I stopped half way through.

    Talented girls, inappropriate dance rountine and as for the costumes, I’m speechless.
    Let children be children and not glorified sex objects.

    Children are gift and it is such a shame that society has sunk to this depth…let’s hope that there is enough outrage at this which will begin the process of looking at how media, pop culture affects children, who then become adults.

    This is a concern for all of humanity.

  27. All I could think of while watching the video is all the pedophiles out there enjoying their free, legal treat. How will these girls’ parents feel when boys at school treat them like sluts, or much older men put the moves on them, all because of some gesture or gyration they thought was harmless because they learned it in the dance class they love so much? What will happen to the little dancers’ self-esteem then? How bewildered and guilty will they feel? Sexuality is a healthy, joyful part of life, but girls shouldn’t be pushed into such displays years ahead of their biology by stage moms and dads. Wake up, parents!

  28. I believe the girls did a fantastic dance routine, but the song was inappropriate as to the dance moves and the costumes. To believe that no one else would see this, is being ignorant, parents always record a child’s performance, and I’m pretty sure the person who posted it was proud of their child, my thoughts are how many perverts are going to watch this and think that girls this age are suppose to act like and that it is normal? There are a lot of creepy people out there and this just gives them more gross ideas about children.

  29. As a former dancer and dance teacher I find these girls very talented and there is not shame in their routine. The parents are right – these kids are not wearing these outfits on the street – they are COSTUMES – they are not bikinis or topless. Unfortunately with the internet, it is possible for all the world to see them. Before the internet, the father is right – this would only have been viewed by the live audience. We have the most prudish, puritanist ideas here in this country of anywhere and in most cases, miss the outstanding talent these girls exhibit because of the “shocking” routine. Beyonce is a favorite of todays pop fans and most kids DO watch MTV. If these kids do not then they are the exception. What bothers me far more than these dance routines are the clothes I find for my granddaughter. Really age inappropriate for street wear. But for this video, there should be some kind of privacy settings or something to protect a video and allowing it only to be shown on you tube with parental permission. The kids are doing or wearing nothing dancers have not done nor worn for many years – Only in the eyes of the beholder do they appear to be “sluts”.

    • While some clothes may be appropriate in some settings and other clothes in other settings, there really is no way these clothes should be considered appropriate for these children. It has nothing to do with the amount of skin showing–children are not sexual.

      The problem is the adult manipulation of the child’s identity. These kids did not just decide to take of their clothes and run naked through a sprinkler…adults dressed them up and taught them to move in ways that adults in our society have developed to imply and heighten sexuality.

      The girls are not “sluts” but the adults who do this to them need to take a step back from an environment that has made them think this is okay.

      As far as YouTube goes…there are privacy settings. If I want to upload a video of my daughter’s dance recital and invite only the other parents and families to watch it, I can.

  30. It is wrong to promote this kind of behavior in young girls. Parents need to say no to this kind of behavior.

    We live in a society that sexualizes women to the most extreme degree. It is not a surprise that the sexualizing of young girls is now mainstream.

  31. This is so disturbing. I do not think the girls made up those moves on their own. They only scrream one thing – something they shouldn ot need to know about yet. I have more to say, but I think I will go talk to my 3 year old girl about Elmo now and maybeplay in the spronkler with her 1 piece suit! Sorry – it’s just too much!

  32. This is my first time to visit your site. I hopped over from a RT of your twitter post that linked to that feminist site. Wow, that girl does not like you (but I guess you knew that). I read her post and definitely see her point, but I get the impression that she is discounting the little girls positions in favor of being angry about the exploitation and sexualisation of women. Personally, I am against both! They go hand in hand. (I commented nicely on her site asking for clarification. I hope she doesn’t take it the wrong way and flame me for it.)

  33. I definitely don’t want to shame the little girls. It’s not their fault. To me this is completely abusive to them and they are the victims here. They’ve been exploited and had their bumping and grinding posted all over the Internet.

    Talking about “context” is BS because if you don’t want it on the Internet, you don’t do it on a stage where a bunch of people have camcorders aimed at it. I mean der.

    They said “They weren’t performing for a worldwide audience.”

    Well they are now. Welcome to the Internet.

    The fact that this is “completely normal” in dance competitions is the problem. Creating a bogus context for oversexualizing little girls doesn’t make it “okay.”

    I used to take dance classes and there are PLENTY of costumes that “allow for movement” that don’t look slutty. And take ballet for instance… that’s not slutty. There are ways to dance and be classy and show off skill and talent.

    My mother would never let me take this type of dance lessons until I was in high school. Because it’s just too sexual. I took ballet until it was age appropriate for me. To have allowed me to take dance like this at a younger age would have been abusive and exploitative because I wouldn’t have fully understood what I was doing.

    Dancing like this is only empowering if you’re old enough to make the choice to do it and understand your own sexuality enough to express it.

    And if dance instructors can’t design competitions in this dance style for little girls that aren’t so sexual, then maybe little girls should stick to ballet.

    As for not letting their little girls watch MTV… well good for them, but what diff does it make whether or not they watch it if they are DOING it?

    That’s like saying: “I don’t let me kids watch R-rated movies” while they’re unsupervised and having sex in the back of somebody’s car.

    These parents are living in denial and need to join us back here in the real world.

  34. Sitting here listening to these parents defend this horror amazes me …these shouldnt be normal dance clothes, these should not be normal dance moves and common sense should dictate that fact and listening to these parent who see nothing wrong with this really scares me. What has happened to the parents that protect their children from bad things?

  35. brings back the jonbenet ramsey case, a little girl who sadly was very sweet but in studying the situation – there was every indication the little girl was sexually abused but not clear by whom. She had a urinary tract infection and also had problems with bed wetting which are clear symptoms. The girls are excellent dancers but this will definitely prepare them for our highly sexualized society and teach them how to be sexual objects. I understand it is very exciting for all and the parents excuse – that it is a dance competition – how does that make sexualized movement OK. This will excite the perverts and pedophiles too.
    Looks like they tried to shut you down on this one Jessica and I can understand your fears and protectiveness about your daughter but she is 11 and is pre teen now. This stuff is very scary.

  36. I find all of this very interesting and have been discussing this very topic with friends and family for the past 13 years I’ve been raising my daughter in this hyper-sexualized, objectifying culture. I think it’s hypocritical to criticize these girls for manifesting the hyper-sexualized music, dance, and images that we are all accepting as “part of pop culture”. Of course as parents you should try to shield your children from this perverse culture as much as possible–these parents have simply crossed the line into la la land and decided that if it’s part of pop culture it’s ok.
    But at what age is it appropriate to dance like this? Does a magic light come on at age 18 and ‘voila’ you are now ok to be a sex-object as a woman? Let me say that I am a feminist and that is exactly why I feel this way. It’s fine to do what you want with your sexuality once you’re an adult, but selling it to world through media is a different matter.
    I think the bigger problem here is the way women are objectified in music, film, and images worldwide. I listen to the music on the radio with my daughter and we have long conversations about what the man (because 90% of the time it’s a guy rapping/singing) is really saying/asking. A lot of the songs by women on commercial radio are also denigrating, detailing how they’ll do this or that sex act and objectifying themselves. That being said, limiting culture’s influence (no tv in our home, I’m a very cruel parent according to my daughter) is still important no matter how many conversations you have about what is really being projected.
    That’s because as aware as you hope your children are about the messages they are receiving from media everywhere, a large percentage of it is going to sink into their subconscious and affect their self-image as they grow up. These parents are a prime example of this, they’ve accepted it all as ok and “everyone else is doing it”. They’re right about that, but we as parents have the right to severely limit the load of crap that pop culture is selling our girls.

  37. Where is Social Services? These parents are completely unfit and should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

  38. This is typical for LA or Vegas. I agree that mom and dad were sadly clueless. More is better in their pathetic world (more make-up, more surgery, more sex, more, more). I agree, the parents hopelessly embarrassed themselves. The excuse here was “put it into context” (we did and it was bad CONTENT within the context) and kids wear bathing suits at the pool (hey yeah dad, but they’re not gyrating, bumping and grinding around the pool). I studied modern jazz for many years as a kid and still dance. The costumes were indeed over the top. There are puh-lenty of great costumes that don’t make you look like a street slut where you can still “move” with ease mom. I understand the times change but this isn’t really “dance” so much as showing off in a kind of “come get me” sort of way. It wasn’t pretty or cute ~ just really cheap and trashy. Hey, but that’s the LA culture and these folks bought into it. After all, this is partly a social issue suggesting “class” or, in this case, the lack of it. Some parents teach their kids gymnastics, soccer, sailing and tennis and others, well………. These folks “think” this is great stuff and their kids will be liked and even “cool”. No doubt it’s a good workout but it’s a statement of poor judgment. That’s a pity because the girls are talented. A lot of people mold and prepare their children for $$$$$ in odd ways in America. Maybe someday these little girls will grow up and send their daughters to stripper school at age four and tell us that we’re out of touch.

  39. Obviously, the children are not the ones who are responsible for this.. what occurs to me is that the choreographer made some really bad choices.. these are children, and the movements they are making, altho technically excellent, are clearly age inappropriate. How is it that the parents were unaware of what the dance routine consisted of? And what the costumes were? Or perhaps they knew, and as they stated, thought it was fine, in context. It’s not fine, in or out of context.
    Yes, our world is filled with these kind of images, and yes, women have been taught to use their sexuality in ways that many of us think is degrading and wrong.. that being said, it is a very weak defense to use in terms of children being taught these moves, and dressed in ways that emphasize sexuality.. a two piece bathing suit in a swimming pool, is one thing, but there is no gyrating going on in the pool, or before the kids jump in. It is not relevant to me that the parents were not well spoken.. to me what is relevant, is that they didn’t have the good judgement to see what was being taught, and consider whether it was good, in the long run.
    And by the way, I am a former dance teacher.. and let me just say, that it’s not necessary to make a routine sexy to make it art..often, quite the opposite is true.

  40. Jessica-
    I read your, CC Chapman’s and the Fertile Feminist post (and then your post on breast-feeding…)

    Sex sells.

    When it stops selling, then designer, manufactures, advertisers, marketers will too.

    That being said, the onus is on us on what we pay for, celebrate, watch, share, and objectify. People talk a pretty mean game of the need to stop “the objectification of women” (and thus little girls too) but you have to own up to your part of the problem or the solution.

    As a parent, this means I don’t let my kids watch R-rated movies (or “Two and Half Men” for that matter) or let my sweet daughter walk around in “Prosti-tot” clothing: hot-pants, sweats with “juicy” on the butt, bikinis.

    She’s just 7. We shop Lands end, Hanna Anderson and I help her choose. Sure she’d like something more daring but we talk about it and, just like ear-piercing, it’s saved for when she’s older. I also don’t let her watch Miley Cyrus in anything.

    For full disclosure: with music, I do expose her to all because we’re that kind of a home: Blues, Metal, 80’s, Classical, and even Miley and Taylor Swift. But then again, this is my prevue as a parent and I vet it first.

    Sure I’d like to live in an ideal world. One where people didn’t breastfeed 4 year olds, 8 year olds don’t dance like Gansta Rap video vixens, and my daughter didn’t try so hard to be (and act) a year or two older than she is. I’d also like World Peace, a viable 3rd party in politics and sparkly unicorn to ride. Oh… I’d also like to add that I’d like my kids to be so well-behaved I’d feel comfortable taking them into Barneys New York.

    But it isn’t. And it is up to us to set the limits. For ourselves and our children.

  41. There is only one reason for such dancing and the practice it requires. The parents and the instructors are hopeing to grab that brass ring. Their children are being raised to sell to the highest bidder in the entertainment world. Providing they perform as per instruction. Then they all can “retire”.
    The parents body language is very expressive.
    Have you ever heard so may rationalization from a pair of parents trying (without success) to justify an action that is completely wrong on all counts.
    Is the dancing on this video one of joy and happiness, or is it one of frenzy and sweat and too much exertion for ones of a tender and still growing age.
    Does it reflect what a little girl would normally do?
    The business world has created this situation, and has been working overtime to train its “consumers” by every method possible. These traders are succeding quite well – don’t you think , judging from the cheering crowd.
    Twenty + unemployment…………What is the future of these very precious little girls to be.
    Care to follow Goldman and bet on the down side?
    Ever hear of that old saying – “The love of money is the root of all evil?”

  42. Wow! These parents need a dope slap. Here’s a glimpse into your future… your daughters are going to come to you at 13 wanting to wear belly shirts and tube tops with their daisy dukes! Come on, wake up! You know the world we live in. You couldn’t see this all over utube and the internet the moment you saw the show? I find that hard to believe unless you live under a rock. Have some sense and some class. Your children are counting on you.

  43. The cluelessness of the parents, dance instructors, and contest officials is denial at its highest peak. Do they ever wonder why their 12 year olds are having sex? Our society has so lowered the bar on what is decent and respectful for people at all ages that we can no longer make the connection between what we do with our kids at 2, 4 and 6, and their behaviors at 12, 14, and 16. I’m the grandmother of a six year old girl and I would be ashamed to see her perform like these girls. Fortunately, her parents have more sense.

  44. I watched the video of you talking about second guessing yourself every night. It sounds like you are the one with serious problems if you worry every night before you go to bed.
    You are being nasty and judgemental to really talented girls who love to dance. Hopefully they will grow up confident and won’t second guess themselves every night.

    • I was very clear in stating that those kids are TALENTED.

      I watched a number of other videos from World Of Dance and I didn’t see a lot of pelvic thrusts, though I did notice that the other kids seemed to be older.

      Is pelvic thrusting something we outgrow?

      I hope I’m never a smug parent. I hope that I do reflect each day and try to be a better wife and mother than I was the day before. I will never ever apologize for using my judgment. Judgment is good, it separates us from animals.

      • What I got from Jessica’s video log was quite the opposite. I think what she was saying is that we can’t look away from this because a part of us wants to see something so awful so we can congratulate ourselves on being good parents in at least one area. We can all band together and say, “Hey look at THOSE parents. They suck! They are terrible!” and at the same time we are patting ourselves on the backs for being better than they are. It’s a great way to feel superior. Admitting that is pretty big. I applaud it.
        However, I would be uncomfortable watching a grown woman gyrate like those little girls. I don’t like it. The girls are very talented. They need dance routines that reflect their talent. Gyrating and shaking your butt don’t have any place in an 8 year olds dance routine. Jessica has stated her position and, in my opinion, has not been “nasty” at all. I can’t say that for all of the posts. Some of the parents are horribly judgmental using terms like “mini-sluts”. I agree that THAT is unnecessary.

    • Katie, those girls are doing dance moves that you seen in strip clubs and nightclubs where it’s commonly known as “booty dancing” and it’s INTENDED to be overtly sexual.

      Sexualizing children, as if they are little adult women, is just wrong. If you can’t see that then *you* might be the one with a serious problem.

      • honestly unless u have every been to a show you would see that they are COSTUMES !!the outfits are just for show, and they are doing very complex dance moves, i guess its for the viewer, when i see this i see very talented girls who are doing what they love, while others see too sexy, i mean come on they are little girls!!! how can a 8 year old be sexy? its the viewer!!

        • You are using something called circular reasoning: “They wear these costumes to dance competitions therefore they are appropriate for dance competitions.” That is not an argument. Just because it is done that way, doesn’t make it right.

          No one is saying an 8 year old is sexy. People are saying an 8 year old has been coached and costumed *by an adult* to perform a number that mimics motions that signify sexuality. If an adult did these moves, it would be “sexy”. So an adult teaching a child to dance in ways that an adult would if she were trying to be “seductive” is absolutely repulsive. On the part of the adults…not the children.

          The children are just children. Talented children. And they deserve better.

          • Wow.. Candace.. impressive. You said it very well.
            Emmy.. if you find yourself using more than one exclamation point, you may need to take a breath. Debating an issue while upset is never a good idea.

  45. Mary Ellen you are correct. The parents that condone this type of dance expression for under 18 years old let alone 8 and 9 year olds is inappropriate. It does not matter what society is doing you are the parent you have an assignment given to you by God to protect and shelter your child from inappropriate behavior. Gyrating is not cute when you are not an adult. Dressing to match what the adult entertainment world does is not appropriate for your children and as long as parents allow their child to be exploited society will remain the same and hurt our children emotionally and set them up for inappropriate behavior, acceptance and exploitation.

  46. The real problem is with the dance teachers who do the choreography and select such costumes. The organization that sponsors the competition should have more age appropriate standards, give better guidance to the teachers, and not permit entries that step over the line. Of course the children see nothing wrong with it. They only know what they are taught and what their parents condone. Those moves do not mean to them what they do to adults. The parents are in a tough position. The are not dance professionals and have swallowed the line of professionals that should know better. Dance steps and moves can be (and are) taught and judged using more age appropriate material. Parents that rock the boat are seen as pariahs and have the choice, too often, of denying their talented daughters an opportunity they should have to learn dance and to perform appropriate material. Lets support parents ability to protect their children, and condemn the ones that are perpetuating and probably profiting from this. The good news is that there are opportunities for children to have appropriate dance instruction, teachers that have more sense. Maybe parents need help to find them. We all agree that they are ultimately responsible and are the ones that will suffer the negative consequences.

    • Beverly,
      I agree with you that the dance teacher(s) should have selected more appropriate material, but like the fallacy of putting the responsibility only on the school teachers for what should be acceptable student behavior at school, to fail to make these 8-9 yr-old girls’ parents culpable, accountable, for what their daughters are learning is to suggest that once a kid is born the parents aren’t in the loop.

  47. This interview shocks me. The stupidity of these parents shocks me. I am a professional dancer and a choreographer who has dedicated her adult life of over 25 years to the art form of dance. Dance is an art form. It is a serious art form that can address serious subjects. It DOES NOT INCLUDE SEXY OUTFITS WITH RHINESTONES!! To hear these parents claim that this kind of trash makes up the art form of dance outrages me and horrifies me. People dedicate their lives to the art form of dance. They make beautiful pieces of art inside this form about very serious subjects. These parents need to actually attend a real, art performance of dance. These girls are not practicing the art form of dance. They are practicing the gross commercialization of the art form of dance which robs the form of dance of any value. It would be like including a yoga sequence inside Dancing With The Stars, which by the way is also not a representation of the art form of dance. The parents are right in recognizing this as a product of popular culture, a part of our culture that has lost any integrity it might have once held. These girls could be dancing about subjects that address their feelings and experiences as little girls. WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS NOT THE ART OF DANCE!! It does not represent the art of dance either performed by little girls or by adults.

  48. JonBenet Ramsey

    least we forget why this is wrong

    Just because it is in pop culture does not make it right. Just because animated characters
    do it does not make it right. If the animated characters perform the moves banned at recent
    proms does that make it okay? (lap dancing, bumping grinding hunching & humping). Two
    Winnipeg teachers were fired for their lap dancing at a pep rally. If the chipmunks do it is it

    Both the children and their parents are products of the larger community that reared them.
    If no one says it is inappropriate how can they possibly know?

    This is why conservative Mennonites do not allow television or radio in their
    homes. Their little girls have never heard of Beyounce or Lady Ga Ga either. They still wear
    ankle length dresses and pigtails. They still have the innocence of a child. They ARE children.

    • You had me at JonBenet, but…

      Mennonites do have televisions for educational purposes, even conservative ones, and I disagree with the notion that rejecting pop culture automatically bestows innocence. It’s up to parents to put these kinds of images into context for their children.

  49. Say Jessica, thanks for hosting this discussion as it clearly has been informative. I think everyone’s opinion has some merit; even the angry or nasty ones. Many of us women have been treated very rudely and unfairly over the course of our lives and careers simply because we were women. That residual underlying anger is felt in these posts. How can “girls as objects” still be happening to our daughters and granddaughers?

    I could truly grasp the rage of the professional dancer. I had a dedicated dance instructor many years ago who would have cried that such baloni is called dancing. The parents may not really be such “bad people” ~ just misguided perhaps; naive and part of a culture they think is the norm. There’s no question that women feel extremely strongly about issues like this and even quite a few men.

    On the flip side; and please forgive my candor ~ I also think you were vastly overstating your case in the video. Your anxiety was palpable and somewhat dramatic. In fact after reading Katie’s comments I realized that your video troubled me about as much as the dancing story. Katie’s right, it was excessive. I don’t believe you were nasty and everyone is judgmental. If you have an opinion in life you’re Judgmental. Katie was judgmental too. But I did feel a sense of slightly manic alarm. You’d die in the rural south where dressing up babies to win contests is the norm.

    I’ve raised seven kids (stepchildren, my own, one over which I had guardianship and one passed away). We cannot “control” every little outcome for our children which it sounds like you are trying to do. If you remain awake night after night over analyzing every decision you made during the day you will drive yourself and your family crazy ~ if you haven’t done so already. This is not normal nor is it healthy ~ frankly it sounds neurotic. Cut it out. Get some sleep. Let matters be. I actually wondered if possibly you seek out these strange parenting stories in order to help yourself feel better. If you can’t trust your judgement (and that’s what it sounds like) you may want to find someone ~ or several someones ~ to discuss things with PRIOR to making decisions so that you can live with them and get some sleep. With seven kids, the oldest is 40 and the youngest 25, imagine how much sleep I would have lost if I agonized over everything I did? You’re going to make mistakes and that’s OK. Who hasn’t?

    Babies generally keep us awake. But as kids age they will always remain your precious children, even if you’re 90. We ALL worry sometimes but relentlessly stewing all night long every night for 11 years is peculiar behavior for a responsible adult. Let the the kids get into the habit of making important decisions with you and your husband together so they can learn HOW to make decisions so you can get some rest. Talk things over BEFORE making decisions. Life is unpredictable ~ things happen. Nothing is perfect.

    The world can be a truly beautiful but sometimes a very disturbing place. Stop making things worse for your family. You will not be able to arrange perfect lives for your little ones. Learn to deal with this in a better fashion and I think your anxiety will disappear. Good luck to you and may your life be blessed with people who understand you and perhaps can help.

    • I think about things at the end of the day. I’m not losing sleep. I think you have come to a few strange conclusions.

      Manic? Controlling?

      And yes, you are absolutely correct, I would not be happy in the rural south. I would not be happy in the rural anything.

  50. Looking at that video is disturbing – I see young girls trying to grow up before their time. They are wearing sexually suggestive clothing and performing moves that aren’t unlike those at a strip club. Aren’t parents supposed to protect their children from the dangers that are associated with this kind of thing? Instead, it just looks like the adult world is forcing their adult ideas onto these children.
    There is nothing wrong with allowing a child to perform in activities such as these, but somewhere, someone has to draw a line.

  51. I posted about this very subject on Friday. I can’t believe there are women/ or any parent or adult in general who would argue this is acceptable. This routine was a train wreck of epic proportions. I concede that the children can dance, but the music choice and certainly the costume choice should have raised a red flag in most parents eyes. I have daughter’s in dance and I would never see these red flags and not questions somebody….its my child for heaven’s sake. I am their advocate. These little girls are not culpable because they are too young. There parents certainly should have been more aware of the situation, the WOD panel should have seen this on paper and realized no good could come of it, and the coach/choreographer…well,either they have no sense at all or used absolutely no judgment. How could they not think this was a bad choice. This world is full of a lot of crazies and it was irresponsible of the adults involved to let this routine come to fruition on the stage done by 7-9 year olds. I had a gamut of opinions in response to my post as well, so Jessica I know how you feel. I don’t know why they choose to attack us,we are only using our brains and stating the obvious…little girls tarted up and dressed in trashy costumes dancing to a song about a single lady giving away the goodies ….is NOT a good idea. Seriously, is there an adult in the house?

  52. I love how the mother says that the costumes are made for unrestricted movement and that dance costumes have ruffles and crystals on them. I was in dancing when I was a child an, she’s right. Our costumes were hand-sewn by our moms from a specific pattern to be unrestrictive and they all had tons of sequins and ruffles on them. But, I can tell you for a fact that they never were skimpy! They covered our butts, boobs and tummies. There is also the bathing suit comment, but I think kids bathing suits are too sexy nowadays, too! Toddler bathing suits have high cut leg openings, skimpy bikini tops and sexy cut-outs and such! I had the hardest time finding clothes for my little girl, who will be 14 in August. I ended up buying her a lot of boys shirts and jeans because I couldn’t find clothes I deemed appropriate. Its a shame that more alternatives aren’t offered.

    • char, by putting yor child in a bubble u are going to make her want to rebel!! the clothes now a days are fine! and a 2 year old in a bikini is adorible! not sexy i mean come on, some people are just sick to call 8 year olds sexy ?

  53. I can’t believe this! These parents are so trying to make it normal to raise little prostitutes, because that is what they are doing! SICK SICK SICK! So, when their little prostitute gets pregnant at 13 what are they doing to say then? It’s normal? these kids need to be removed from their parents! These kids have no idea what they are doing and are not mature enough to know what they are doing is wrong!

  54. The kids sure have talent, more than just a little. I don’t think their parents were wantonly prostituting them, as some commenters seem to think, but I do not think that they were protecting them sufficiently either. Minus some pelvis gyrations and more cloth covering skin and this would have passed my radar. But it didn’t.

  55. It doesn’t matter the “context” in which this is viewed. If you want your daughter raised so she turns on pedophiles, you’re playing a dangerous game.

  56. Isn’t it interesting that the mother in this interview said she won’t let her 8 year old daughter watch music videos…really, then why on earth would you let her perform like she’s in one???!!!??? Ignorance, on the part of the parents and the dance instructor, will get these girls into trouble of epic proportions by the time they are 14, 15, 16 years old or even younger. It is our job as parents to teach our children how to cope with the ins and outs of pop culture, not how to assimilate with it in order to win a stupid dance contest!!! The little girls are NOT to blame here, they worked hard and they are phenomenally talented and they don’t think there is anything wrong with their routine. It was up to the dance instructor(s) to come up with a routine of age appropriate content and up to the parents to set boundaries. Since these parents are more concerned with their own image then their childrens’, I’m afraid these little girls don’t seem to have any resources to help them see what is right/wrong nor anyone to tell them when a line has been crossed. And I’m afraid that a very big line has been crossed in this case…

  57. Ok I think watching the parents justify this was almost as bad if not worse then watching those little girls grind like that. I can’t believe the mother said that the costumes were designed to be not restrictive as a defense. You know what we wore when I danced as a little girl? Tights and leotards with rhinestones on them, our whole bodies were covered and we still managed to be dance unrestricted. But frankly, that is only a part of the issue. You could put sweatpants and long sleeve tshirts on these girls and the movements would still make it inappropriate for 8 or 9 year olds.

    These little girls are good dancers and capable of something much more appropriate. I don’t even care about the song, they can dance to the song but it a more modest way, surely.

    As a mother of a daughter who is only 11 months old I fear for her generation. When bikinis are on sale for infants and 8/9 year olds are wearing lingerie on stage, where will we be in 8 years? 15 years? What will the dance teachers ask my daughter to wear? I guess I will be the “uncool” mom that pulls her daughter out of dance class. No way would I let her wear anything like that.

    On a final note, why is the big point that this wasn’t meant to be viewed by the whole world? It was meant to be viewed by several hundred people at a dance competition. Several hundred people seeing your daughter dressed/dancing like that shouldn’t be anymore acceptable than two million people viewing the video. It’s equally bad Mr. Miller.

    • I totally agree with you. I am glad I don’t have kids when I see things like this because the future for them doesn’t look very good when you have parents and society justifying this type of behavior.

    • I 2nd that Heather. Whether it was a small roomful of people or the world wide web, this routine performed by these little girls should not have been seen by ANYONE, because it should not have happened in the first place. Period, full-stop. Nuff said.

  58. Everyone is posting the same points. We all agree. Perhaps two people are opposed. This is what makes it so easy to feel good about ourselves. It feels good to be superior, doesn’t it?
    Hey.. I know the dancing is wrong. We all do. But, enough already. Why not just crucify the parents? “UP ON THE CROSS.. THEY ARE EVIL!!!”
    Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone. I agree the children should not be exploited that way – but the main points have been covered.. from here on out it’s just a matter of preaching to the choir.
    I apologize for my candor, I don’t mean to insult anyone. We all want to be heard. I understand that.

  59. Sorry, but NO! The reaction of the “world” is NOT improper or taken out of context.

    What the hell are we teaching these girls (at 8 and 9 y.o.) is appropriate behavior? Are we telling them that performing body movements that are sexually suggestive appropriate for them at this age? If those parents are so CLUELESS about what is appropriate for children, then maybe we SHOULD require licensing for becoming a parent: no pregnancy until you can prove that you’re smart enough to have a child and raise it with APPROPRIATE morals!

    I’m not a “church-ie” or religious by any stretch of the imagination, in fact, I find organized religion repulsive and reprehensible. My response is VALID because my significant other’s 22-yr old daughter was raped at university this spring and fails to understand that by dressing like a slut, regardless of her “intentions”, she’s not just showing how pretty she is, but she’s sending a message that she’s inviting a sexual response by exposing herself that is going to provoke a hormonal, visceral response in others. Even though we know how she was dressed that night, she blames everyone but herself and takes no responsibility for the outcome even though her friends say she was too drunk to stand on her own.

  60. My question is this: couldn’t those GIRLS show their obvious dance and athletic talent with a different choice of music, choreography and costuming? Sure they could. But the instructors at the dance studio went for shock value and in my opinion, have no integrity for doing so. If it were one of my daughters, I would have discussed my concerns but pulled her out if they didn’t make a change to something more appropriate. I simply don’t want my children in the care of what should be responsible adults that would even think on any level this was okay and not sexuallizing the dancers.

    These dance studios rake it in at the expense of destroying our youth right under their noses…

  62. these are just little girls dancing. They are very talented too, I might add. Anyone who views them as sexy has issues. For goodness sakes their dancing, thats it. Get a grip.

  63. these are just little girls dancing. They are very talented too, I might add. Anyone who views them as sexy has issues. For goodness sakes their dancing, thats it. Get a grip.

  64. Hey girl! This is totally late for the topic but did you see me on Fox and Friends talking about this video?? Let’s gloss over the total irony of fox wanting to hear anything I have to say and my willingness to go on the show. But you can imagine how badly I wanted to say how WRONG this dance was. I also loved that we could not find a single person willing to go on the show to debate the other side. Not the parents and not another parent. I love that you were one of the first to write about this and will forever mourn not having been a fly on the wall in your home that week. Rock on.

    • Um, no. If you want me watching Fox And Friends you need to either call or email and say, “Jessica, set your DVR, I’m going to be on Fox And Friends.”

      Because I’d have been here cheering you on.

  65. Either “someone concerned” did not read to the end of my comment before reacting or somehow I did not make it clear that it was the parents who were responsible for what the children did. I was merely pointing out that being a parent is a tough job with a lot of societal pressures and that we somehow need to provide help to parents not condemnation. It is clear that if no parent allowed their daughter to participate OR if no teacher had such poor judgement; there would be no problem. Since there was, we are all hoping to influence things so that children will be protected.

    • Beverly, this is such a touchy subject, that I myself find it difficult to read comments. We all want to jump out of our skins.

      It’s difficult to be dispassionate, and I adore that we’re having the conversation.

  66. I think the people who are responding in a negative way are clueless about dance and dance competition. The yelling and cheering done by the audience is in support of the girls technique and meant as that “cheering” and “good job” not as anything else. I was to send a big high-five to the parents that have stood up for these girls. They are super talented and you are great parents for trying to control what the public has trying to make something negative.
    My own daughter is in dance and dresses completely different at dance then she does at home or at school. Best wishes and good luck at future competitions.

    • Again, “this is what they wear at dance so therefore it is okay to wear at dance” is not a logical argument.

      Leaving that aside for a moment…it is possible to have a “costume” that does not look like a person’s everyday attire, and allows freedom of movement, and accentuates the lines of dance, without it looking like a Pussycat Dolls review.

      To your other point, no one is saying that the audience is cheering because they are turned on by little girls. I do sincerely doubt there are entire communities out there that are that sick. The point is that by cheering moves that emphasize sexuality, they are encouraging a certain attitude and behavior in young girls.

      To recap, the little girls are not sexual. However, they are being dressed, trained, and choreographed in such a way that is clearly a copy of how adults behave in sexualized performances (strippers, music videos, burlesque shows). A display of dance skill does not require striptease moves or a vegas show girl costume.

      The fact that a dance mom can’t see this, just means you are like the frog in the pot of boiling water…heat it up slowly and you don’t even realize you are being cooked.

      And, frankly, I can relate to that. I have personal felt the subtle pressures of wanting to not make waves so my daughter can do an activity she enjoys with her friends. It is tough sometimes to know where to draw the line and even harder to back away from it if you realize it has been crossed for you.

      • This kind of component fallacy is known as “Begging the Question”. Writers assume as evidence for their argument the very conclusion they are attempting to prove. This is also known as “circular reasoning”. As Nancy stated above – “The reason it is okay for little girls to wear this kind of outfit at dance is because this is the kind of outfit little girls wear at dance.” Her argument is not logical.

        Also, @ Someone Concerned – your opinion is not “valid” because your significant other’s 22 year old was raped. This is an irrelevant conclusion, ie: it has nothing to do with the current debate. Whether the 22 year old was dressed appropriately or drunk is not related to the sexualized dancing in this video. Were you trying to show a cause/effect relationship? Was your significant other’s daughter a member of a dance troupe that wore sexualized costumes at a young age? Your judgement of this girl is simply your own personal judgement. Therefore, your argument is not “valid” just because you want it to be. Even if you use all caps.
        I agree that rape under any circumstance is wrong. I’m sorry your loved one had to go through this. I urge you to be more compassionate toward her. Often times, alcohol abuse is a symptom of a bigger problem.

    • I’m so late to this topic but I just can’t resist on commenting. I agree with you totally Nancy.
      Speaking as someone who actually grew up doing these things, I really think that some of you should chill a little. I had done this kind of dancing when I was their age and didn’t think of it as something sexual. And let me ask you this. Have you seen little kids do ballroom? In competitions? They don’t wear much more than this and especially the latin dances? They shake their hips, gyrate and make faces to a male partner. But, i bet you will manage to justify that as art coz it’s ballroom. How is this any different? And the parents from the vid are right, we ware less clothes so we can show off those lines that we worked are butt of to achieve. Think of it, there’s practically no type of dancing where the dancers don’t wear revealing clothes. Look at ballet, those leotards leave nothing to the imagination so are you gonna make your kids quit ballet now? Times change, culture change, perception changes Modern Dance is here to stay and don’t belittle it because you don’t understand it. Those kids are amazingly talented and they’re gonna grow up to be great dancers because they start out young. Deal with it.

      • Modern dance is a technique, a technique a large number of competitive studios have no real knowledge of besides the idea that it is done with Flexed feet.. ridiculous. Ever heard of Martha Graham? Jose Limon? Alvin Ailey? The list goes on and on.. True modern dance TECHNIQUE not “dance thats done in the modern day” such as this absolutely disgusting display.

        Dance is art, not sport. There is nothing wrong with competing.. sports teams compete. The difference is sports teams dont exploit their team members by parading them half naked in front of large crowds.. who knows what kind of people are watching and the perceptions they are making.. They could be VERY different from the ones that the choreographers and dancers and parents are attempting to.

        You work your butt off to show beautiful lines.. but unfortunately a relative few can appreciate those lines (simply the nature of dance), and the likelihood of people outside of the dance world developing an appreciation for those lines becomes even smaller when he audience’s eyes are going to crotch shots, booty shakes, bare midriffs, shimmy shakes, etc etc..

        The children may not know the implications of what they are doing, but the pedophiles, creeps and psychos who are masturbating to your child on the internet do.
        I reiterate.. nothing wrong with competition.. HEALTHY competition.. but the attitude, lack of creativity, lack of costumes and lack of artistry that dance competitions cultivate makes me sick to my stomach, especially as a serious aspiring proffesional choreographer and teacher.

  67. They are trying to legalize child porno. She is only 11 years old and less, wear
    striptease costume and dance like them, she splits leg and show her but to old men..
    And they say that it is art.. what a shameful

  68. Girls age 9 to 13 are dressing so slutty and provocative these days, its no wonder pedophiles are jumping for joy with their luck.  And with cheap webcams available to anyone for 25 bucks, perverts can simply logon and see child porn being performed by underage kids.


Leave a Comment