Overheard: But You Don’t Want to Sleep With Me

11.24.10


Last Sunday night I went to a screening of Burlesque with my friend Heather. It was a charity event that benefited Project Angel Food, and it’s quite possible that Heather and I were two of the only straight people in the theater.

I wasn’t particularly dressed up, good jeans and a cashmere sweater. I wasn’t wearing any makeup, but I felt good.

When I saw Heather she, of course, looked amazing, and she told me I looked good too. It’s what girlfriends do.

After the movie Heather ran into the ladies room and I sat on the benches outside waiting for her. A nice lady sat down next to me and started talking to me about my boots, and then she complimented my hair, and then she asked me who I came here with and then I realized she was hitting on me.

And then I felt pretty.

Because I’m shallow.

I was giggling with Heather, “Oh my gawd I think a lesbian was hitting on me.” and because I’m shallow I added, “do you think it’s because my boots are not super feminine or because I’m having a good hair day.”

“You look beautiful. I told you that when I saw you tonight.” Heather said, “Why don’t you listen to me?”

“Because you don’t want to sleep with me, so it doesn’t count.”

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4 responses to “Overheard: But You Don’t Want to Sleep With Me”

  1. Hilarious! I’m shallow too and loved to be hit on (who doesn’t?) – man, woman, who cares – it’s a great ego boost. And yes, we must listen to our friends when they tell us that we look beautiful (even though it’s their job to do so)!

  2. Kimberly says:

    OMG, that is hilarious.

  3. Pam says:

    I’ve always said a compliment from a lesbian is the highest form of a compliment. Women are not nice as a gender – certainly not to each other. So forget what a man has to say – if a CHICK thinks you’re hott, you ARE.

  4. TripleZmom says:

    I love the way you told this story.

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