I was going to title this post Kenmore Elite Dishwasher Review, but that wouldn’t be fair. Y’all know perfectly well that this isn’t a review. Everyone who knows me knows that I’ve been ogling the Kenmore Elite Appliances over the last year and that I’d asked (perhaps begged?) for an Ultra Wash dishwasher to share with y’all.

I wanted this dishwasher because it has a touchscreen, and that’s all I wanted. I knew it was a $2,000 dishwasher so I assumed it would actually get my dishes clean (unlike my previous two dishwashers… not Kenmore) but I didn’t know anything about the features. (Ahem I’m told it’s been reduced by $700+ this month)

I ordered my dishwasher at my local Sears store, which was a shockingly pleasant experience. My last appliances were bought online because I so dreaded the whole sales floor thing, and guess what? There’s nothing to dread. They were super nice and it didn’t take much time at all. That being said, it would have been equally easy to click and order the dishwasher online.

So, about this nerdtastic dishwasher… thank gawd I have a blog because my husband is sick and tired of sentences that begin with, “Did you know that our new dishwasher….” and then he corrects me and says, “your new dishwasher… ” But I know he’s totally into it too because I see him playing with the touchscreen and twirling the arms. Yes arms. If you look at the inside of your dishwasher the chances are that you see one, perhaps two spinning arms. If you look inside of my dishwasher you see this on the bottom.

The red arrows show you that the arms spin. The blue arrows point at these extra jets that they have at the back of the washer. The red jets at the back are attack jets, they attack the food on your plates or if you wash pots and pans just angle your disgusting ones to the back and press go (they’re called the turbo zone, but I like to make them sound like the Air Force). Those three arms are swinging around slinging soapy water at your dirty dishes like a whirlygig with OCD.

Starting this dishwasher up is pure joy. Simply touch the screen to activate it, and then you pick your cycle. There are a ton of cycles. I’ve tried the SmartWash, Normal, 1 Hour Wash, Eco and Pots and Pans. I have to say that the eco wash worked just fine on even my pots and pans so that’s the wash I’m sticking with for daily use.

The first time I used the dishwasher I thought it was a lemon. There were NO SOUNDS coming out of it. Apparently good dishwashers don’t announce every cycle with a wheeze and a snort. I hear only the faintest humming sounds when the washer is in operation which means that I no longer have to plan to wash the dishes when no one wants to be downstairs. The silence is exciting.

My dishes are clean. I can’t really give you degrees of clean, because unlike laundry they don’t get brighter or whiter. They’re either clean or they aren’t. This dishwasher cleans everything perfectly, silently and beautifully. The first time I shared a link to the page on twitter people thought it was a goof, the dishwasher face looks like nothing but a square of silver. Which is awesome. This dishwasher is too pretty for my kitchen. In fact when we put the house up for sale (maybe in a few days) I’m pretty sure I’m yanking out the new washer, putting in a crapola one and taking this one with me.

A few things about the Kenmore Elite Touchscreen Dishwasher:

• The touchscreen is just as awesome as you imagine it to be.
• This dishwasher (and all dishwashers) come with manuals. If you read it they will show you how to load the dishwasher. It will help you.
• There is an actual level in the door that shows you if you need more rinse aid. I cannot believe that every dishwasher in the world doesn’t have this feature. Rock on!
• The energy guide for my washer says that it will cost $23 a year to operate. Holy Effing Efficiency Batman.
• The manual says that you have to heat up the water in the sink next to the dishwasher for it to heat up. Even though this might be true I forget a lot of the time and everything is really very clean. And I’m a clean freak of the highest order.
• To keep your stainless appliances clean simply wipe them down with a hot soapy sponge and dry them with a towel. Next use a few drops of baby oil with a paper towel and wipe the front of the appliance in even strokes. Not only will it shine, but it will repel dirt. Make sure you get unscented baby oil or your kitchen will smell like a nursery.
• There are slots on the basket that separate your silverware. Your spoons won’t nestle together anymore and you’ll be stunned at how little you need to scrape.

The only con I see for this dishwasher is that it could be out of range pricewise for many people. Even if you can afford it sometimes folks (myself included) feel like their kitchen isn’t pretty enough to warrant a big purchase. Ummm… guess whose kitchen is actually sort of pretty now? Ahhhhh. Right now there’s a $703 discount on the dishwasher, more than a 35% discount. Tax returns anyone?

In any event I love it. I love everything about it, and I love that Kenmore engages their community. You can find them on Facebook and Twitter.