You’re a Great Mom

05.8.11


One of the secrets of Motherhood is that women share knowledge. I imagine it’s part of our roots as the gatherers of the hunter-gatherer lifestyle. Women share a bit, mothers share a lot. You won’t find a community quite like the community of mothers anywhere else on earth.

When we’re pregnant we’re drawn to each other. We ask questions that appear to be intimate and overly personal, but as motherhood binds us to one another we find that the questions and their answers are intimate yet not intrusive. We want to support one another and so we find two pregnant women in an elevator talking about achy feet, weak bladders, frayed nerves and giant breasts. It is possible that the women don’t know each other’s names, but Motherhood binds us to one another in ways we hadn’t ever expected.

We ask questions:

Did you nurse? Yes. Did you bottle feed? Yes. No it wasn’t my choice with either child, it really and truly wasn’t but I’ll tell you about my experiences if it helps you.

Did you drop the baby? Why yes, twice. She is fine.

Did you cry a lot the first year? I cried for two years. I stopped crying long enough to get pregnant again so I guess I cried for four years. Hormones suck.

Did you rush your child off to school? I certainly did, but then I didn’t send my second one to school nearly enough. They’re both okay. I’m still waiting to do it right, but the kids think we did it right. Please don’t tell them differently.

Do you feel like a good mom at the end of the day? Not every day, but it’s just a feeling. Feelings aren’t truth.

The women who I’ve surrounded myself both in person and online have uplifted me, they’ve challenged me to be a better person, they’ve guided me when I’m lost and consoled me when I’ve screwed up. I’ve screwed up plenty.

The Moms who read me, who correspond with me and who share this journey with me are great moms. We have these moments where we think we’ve scarred our children, disappointed our significant other and embarassed our families, but they’re just moments.

You, my readers, my Mom guides are some of the most inspired and inspiring women I’ve known. Thank you for being great Moms. Thank you for sharing your wealth of knowledge with me. Thank you for your generosity of spirit and for taking this journey with me.

Great Moms, those Moms that share everything.

Ladies, don’t watch this if you don’t have your sense of humor in tact. Gentlemen, if you think you’d like to have sex again… like ever… don’t admit that this is funny.

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6 responses to “You’re a Great Mom”

  1. RobynBradley says:

    I’m not a mom, but I love being around moms for all the reasons you cite: it’s their energy, the communal nature, the nurturing, all of it. (I was my best friend’s birthing coach, so I got to witness a lot of what you’re saying first hand.) And I’ll admit that I laughed at the video…but I do still think motherhood is the toughest job you’ll ever love (sorry Peace Corps!) Hope you had a lovely Mother’s Day! :)

  2. I used to feel like such an outsider with other women but, since having a baby, that has all changed. I’ve been amazed at the openness and support I’ve received from other mothers! I think you hit the nail on the head with this post! I actually wrote something similar (called THE Sisterhood) last summer, but I’m not sure I quite captured the sentiment as well as you did!

  3. Kate at Big City Belly says:

    The video? Hilarious. And thank you. You’re a great mom, too. Thanks for sharing one slice of your world with us.

  4. Anonymous says:

    “Feelings aren’t truth.” So true, thanks for the reminder. Great post, big post-Mother’s Day hug to you.

  5. April says:

    Hope you had a wonderful mother’s day, Jessica. I love this post.

  6. Tmanettas says:

    So true, feeling aren’t truth. Thank Goodness or we’d all be fucked. The part where he says making popsicle stick crafts and playing hide and go seek is living the dream has kept me laughing all morning long.

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