This week at Momversation Karen asks, “do you make your kids hug your adult friends?” Asha, Mindy and I do not agree with each other on this one.
Well? Do you? I’m sure no one is surprised to find out that I do not. We’ve talked about this a little bit before, in fact, I don’t even care if my kids are rude to strangers. Nope. Really, don’t care one iota.
I really want to know what you think about it. I remember having to hug Aunts and Uncles and they were horrible and old and smelly… come to think of it, I’m not even sure they were aunts or uncles.
Free Hugs: Do You Make Your Kids Hug Your Friends?
My son only hugs the people he wants to hug.
I remember one time, when I was very young, my parents were trying to sell this old, ragged out Buick. They finally had this old lady as a buyer. She came to our home, drove the car, and wanted it. And she wanted to give me a hug. I was drug out of my room to give this horrible woman a hug to seal the deal on the car sale. It still haunts me.
By MAKING our kids hug ANYONE, we are devaluing their ability to learn discernment and how to trust their gut instincts about people; we are teaching our kids that they have to do what other grownups tell them to do, even if it means making physical contact with another adult with whom they dont necessarily feel comfortable. I really think that we are doing our kids a huge disservice by forcing them to hug anyone.
My parents taught us to shake hands when we met someone new or visited with a family friend. Hugs were at our discretion.
My son is almost 17 months old. I have been very protective of him since his birth. I was VERY picky about who was able to hold him, even extended family, as I feel like they only wanted to hold him for the photo they wanted to show off to their friends and family, not because they loved HIM as a person. That’s a whole other issue, though.
I will never, ever make him hug someone and I have never suggested it either. However, that being said, he is VERY generous with hugs and kisses with his dad and I, probably because we hug and kiss him so much. I am not sure how he would react around family, now, at this age since we don’t live near any family. We do have many friends and they are over often. I never make him hug or shake their hand. He waves bye-bye, sometimes at my suggestion.
not only do I not make my children hug people, I don’t let them hug people that don’t deserve a hug.
they (my children) don’t know enough about life to know who to hug.
Nope. Hugging near-strangers (even extended family) is a gateway to molestation. If they don’t feel like hugging, I wouldn’t make them do it. Ick.
I’m against forced hugs and kisses. To me, if you are forcing a child to show physical affection against their will it’s similar to molestation.