Skip to content

Jessica Gottlieb

Jessica is a blogger in Los Angeles who loves to drive slow cars fast, play tennis and try to keep her foot out of her mouth.

Alexander Explains The Death Range

Tonight at the dinner table I told my husband about our dear friend whose ex-husband died earlier in the day. We, of course, want to support her and her children during a difficult time. It should be simple. Offered without commentary is tonight’s dinner conversation.

ME: Something terrible happened today.

MR. G: What?

ME: Our friend’s ex husband died.

Mr. G has a look of shock on his face. His mouth is open wide.

MR. G: Oh no. How?

ME: They think it was a heart attack. It was out of the blue, he hasn’t been sick or anything.

MR. G: How old was he?

ME: I don’t know exactly but mid 50’s.

ALEXANDER: [matter of factly] Well that’s in the death range.

MR. G: The what range?

ALEXANDER: The death range. You know, it’s sort of when it’s time to die.

MR. G: [horrified and bemused] When does the death range begin?

ALEXANDER: You know when people hit about 65 they start to die I guess.

MR. G: But we’re talking about a man in his 50’s that’s like 10 years earlier.

ALEXANDER: That’s why it’s a range. You get in the range to die.

I’d give you more details but according to my son I need to hurry up and buy myself a coffin.