late

This morning wasn’t the easiest one. It’s the Blessing of the Animals at the kids’ school. All the students bring their pets to the school yard before clases begin and a man who isn’t a priest but wears a collar (forgive me I never know what to call him) puts a few drops of water on each pet and says a blessing. Four years ago he about drowned our hamster and I was also have a rough day. I wouldn’t have remembered that, but apparently I blogged it so it must be true.

The morning was a little frenetic  Usually I toss on workout clothes and wake up just five minutes before the kids. I drop them off at school and then do whatever exercise I’ve got on the schedule for the day. Today is different. Today I have a midmorning meeting at a high school. So I woke up 15 minutes before the kids but it wasn’t enough because I had to get really dressed (not fake exercise dressed) and do things like put on mascara.

So I’m downstairs with Jane and Alexander is standing on top of the landing when it’s time to leave and he yells at her that she’s been in his room and taken his PE shorts. She swears she has not but when I look at her she’s standing there in a pair of shorts that say “ALEXANDER” on them. She rolls her eyes and says, “They were in my drawer.” Which they probably were and she’s completely in the wrong because she should have returned the shorts to him but still I’m the one who puts the laundry away so I find myself standing between my two children feeling queasy.

I hate it when they fight and they seldom fight. I know it comes out of frustration and anxiety but that doesn’t make me feel any better, now I just feel worse knowing that my son is anxious and frustrated.

We pile into the car with the dog and everything. Alexander has to run upstairs for forgotten football jerseys and things and he’s just miserable. He’s quiet and unhappy which bleeds to me. Then I’m feeling sad that this is Jane’s last blessing of the animals as she’s in the 8th grade and possibly Alexander’s last as we’re thinking of sending him to another school for 7th grade (but much less likely). My son is unhappy and I am trying to be happy but failing mostly. We are tied together and in the mornings I’ve not yet unwound so I need them to be joyful or I cannot be.

We get to the school and the kids have decided that this year Junior will go with Alexander. I turn right into the driveway and go to grab Junior’s leash and it’s not there. It’s in the house. It’s in the house with the football cleats that I’ll need to bring him and I know that I shouldn’t  bring his cleats but I also know that I should have had these kids prepared for school the night before so this is my responsibility.

There’s no time to drive home and get Junior’s leash and get back to school. We simply live too far away. So I park the car and have a good cry on a random sidestreet.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to powder my face and go look at a high school.